Polling Places Now Offering Basins Of Water So You Can Wash Your Hands Like Pontius Pilate

Babylon Bee ^ | 10/31/2020 | Babylon Bee

[BipolarBob]

U.S.—In order to help voters absolve themselves of responsibility and guilt for the politicians they selected, polling places around the country are offering a bowl of water to all voters in the voting booth, sources confirmed Saturday.

"We noticed early voters looking really queasy as they left the polling station," an election official told reporters. "Some just vomited on the spot, while others just looked like they were going to be ill. So we instituted an emergency measure, allowing people to wash themselves clean on the way out."

While some are praising the move, others say it's not enough.

"Sure, they give us something to wash our hands. But they don't do anything about the stench and the noxious fumes rising from the ballots," a nauseous-looking voter in New York City told reporters as he exited his polling station at a local booth, wiping vomit from his chin. "Wish they'd give us something to hold our noses with while voting."

According to officials, the handwashing initiative is a massive success, with over 98% of those participating in exit polls reporting they scrubbed for a good 20 minutes after voting.

[BipolarBob]

I think this is mostly for liberals voting against Trump rather than for the low energy highly scandal ridden Biden. They want to feel good about their vote but that nagging unclean nauseating feeling comes over them for what they have done to the country and future for their children.

[LastDayz]

Is this bowl of water for washing or wiping? Inquiring minds want to know.

[BipolarBob]

Yes. To both.

[dfwgator]

And I was ‘round when Joe Biden
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate

[DoodleBob]

That's what they WANT you to think.

They're actually DNA collection vehicles so the Deep State can grow your replacement without your knowing.

[sageburn]

lol, reminds me of an old joke involving Catholic girls, holy water and gargling.

[PlateOfShrimp]

But what’s confusin’ me is trunalimunumaprzure.

[oldasrocks]

How bout shots of Jack to kill the germs in you mouth and throat?

[deport]

If it’s a bowl then each following person is
washing in all the previous washers water.......

[KarlInOhio]

If he were alive today, Pilate would have just used a squirt of Purell. Wait, there were automated Purell dispensers at the ecit when I voted yesterday.