Posted on 09/25/2020 11:36:05 AM PDT by BipolarBob
DETROIT, MIGeneral Motors is making waves after a surprise unveiling of a line of exciting new California-compliant vehicles. After a week of building anticipation, officials at the company revealed its latest innovation for the West Coast: the 2021 Horse And Buggy.
The curiosity started last week when GM's Twitter account dropped a cryptic photo of a lone carrot with the phrase "It's coming." Finally, at a live event this week, officials at the company pulled the cover off a stylish, elegant carriage pulled by a powerful single horse.
"We had to re-think everything," said lead designer Abraham Moses Jehoshaphat from rural Pennsylvania. "With California outlawing gas-powered cars, we had to research new technology for propelling a four-wheeled vehicle forward. After countless hours of research and billions of dollars, this is what we came up with. It's an organic, intelligent engine capable of listening to your voice commands and even reproducing other engines. A true miracle of modern science. Levi Berkenbosch from down the road donated it, which is nice. Her name's Sal."
The 2021 Horse & Buggy will come in a one or two horsepower option. Instead of dirty fossil fuels that make Mother Earth cry, the Horse & Buggy will be powered by organic oats and carrots, which can be picked up at your local Whole Foods for $12,000 per pound. Instead of plush bucket seats, riders will be treated to a solid oak plank carved from a single tree that will crack your pelvis every time you hit a pothole.
"The only downside to this amazing machine is you have to stop every 23 feet to pick up poop," said Jehoshaphat. "Although, if you're riding it through a San Francisco tent city no one will probably notice. Also, this old girl's a little skittish around fire, which I hear could be a problem in California."
Chevy confirmed they plan to release many more exciting new California-compliant models in the future such as the "Chariot," the "Flintstone," and the "100 Giant Helium Balloons Tied To A Harness On Your Back." You're welcome, Mother Nature!
I hope Mr. Ed will be wearing a biodegradable diaper!
They come in all sizes nowadays.
UPDATE: California just cancelled program after they found out that horses produce farts which generate greenhouse gasses and causes global warming.
* Editor's note. Hay and oats are not fossil fuels but they are loaded with carbon.
1953... Edsel sedan
2023... Mr. Ed convertible
this is technological Progress, folks! California leads the way again
The Amish will be flooding into California with their superior methods for transportation, housing, and jobs.
Now that is one very adorable subcompact model.
Large enough for Nadler?
This is one of the best ones they have come up with!
Fake news. No mention of rebates and tax credits.
Say “Neigh”
Do they also come in size NADLER?
A reboot of classic Wagon Train waiting to be made.
Except people are leaving CA.
Complete with COVID mask and diaper - for the , um, horsepower.
They can name it the Newsome because it runs on horses—t.
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Those Pintos are dangerous.
And if cow farts damage the ozone, horses aren't much of an improvement.
When my horse broke wind, it rattled the neighborhood windows like a sonic boom.
That is not CA compliant due to the political sign. The iron pyrite state does not approve.
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