Posted on 04/28/2020 6:28:42 PM PDT by DoodleBob
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Democratic presumptive presidential nominee Joe Biden was cleared in federal court today of charges that some claimed were based upon credible allegations of sexual assault when the judge quickly realized that Joe Biden was not a Republican.
“Well, this looks pretty serious… let’s see who is on—wait a minute. He’s a Democrat! I can find no fault with him,” declared a fourth circuit federal judge hearing preliminary claims.
“It is well established in this court that Republicans are the ones who want to silence women and control their bodies. Haven’t you seen The Handmaid’s Tale?” the judge further added before banging down the gavel.
The bailiff immediately grabbed the female accuser by the collar and threw her up into the air out onto the sidewalk, just like in the cartoons.
The allegations against then-Senator Joe Biden date back to 1993. Several other people had corroborated key details relating to the seriousness and timing of the intern’s story including a discovered CNN clip of her mother calling The Larry King Show and a neighbor confirming that the woman had told her at the time what had happened. However, this circumstantial evidence of vile behavior, even interpreted under the generous standard of "believe all women" set by the government in prior cases involving Republicans, was declared to only be valid if the alleged perpetrator was a greedy, evil Republican.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Satire close to the truth.
Satire and the Left’s actual attitude. The seriousness of the charges ever only goes one way. At least if you’re a powerful Democrat.
It’s just too bad that it is the truth.
Or a pitifully Stupid or Corrupt demonratcommiescumbag.
Bookmark
Could be true...
He already got off on a major corruption charge with his Ukrainian quid pro quo, why would anyone think this is a joke?
Clearly it’s the truth.
According to claims I’ve seen Nancy Pelosi’s net worth has nearly doubled twice in the last ten years, and she may be typical, but nary a peep from the Left who claim they can’t stand greed.
I’m cynical enough to believe at least some of these elected scum are deliberately wanting to prolong the shutdown in order to buy up investments or things like oil on pennies on the dollar.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.