Posted on 02/22/2020 8:25:14 AM PST by MNDude
KANSAS CITY, MOAfter a lengthy dispute with his wife this morning, local man Lee Branscom expressed his great sorrow and regret over whatever he did in her dream last night that had her so ticked off at him, sources confirmed Tuesday
He attempted reasoning with her, using the "lame excuse" that he had no control over what dream Lee does, but after that failed, he resigned himself to apologizing for every action of the imaginary version of himself.
"Honey, I know in your dream I hijacked a school bus, blew up the Empire State Building, and cheated on you with every other eligible woman in America, and for that, I am deeply sorry," he said, putting his arm around her. "What else did I do again? Well, whatever it was, I apologize."
"I love you so much, and I'm so sorry that I hurt you in that way," he said.
"I'm just not really sure you mean it," she replied. "You don't seem like you really regret telling me you're leaving me to join the UFC and then laughing as your head turned into a hot air balloon and you vomited out hundreds of 1-Up mushrooms and then disappeared down a green pipe." She insisted that Branscom list off each of the things his dream self did and apologize for them individually.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Totally happened to me on numerous occasions! one in particular she got up super aggravated me and said she had a dream I was doing something really bad -and I said what the hell does that have to do with reality ? she was like oh geez I guess youre right
Funny life is Married that is
I had a dream once, in which my husband did something, can’t remember what, at which I was really angry. When I woke up, I said, “I’m mad at you!” “What’d I do?”, he asked, bewildered. “I just had a dream, in which you did such and such!”, I complained. “Gee...sorry. I promise I’ll never do it again!”, he said. “Well, okay, then...but you’d better NOT!” We have good senses of humor. But I am a redhead. I think he might be a teensy bit afraid of me. He’s never going to let me forget that time I threw that lamp. I wasn’t aiming at him...honest. Besides, I think it’s made of cement, because I can barely lift it, and it landed right in front of my feet, unscathed. It sits, mockingly, on a credenza in our living room. Wouldn’t part with it for the world; him, either. ;)
I forgot to mention the then girlfriend is a redhead
“Oh, you think that’s bad? Let me tell you what YOU did...!!!”
This appears to be one of those Babylon Bee articles where reality out-satirizes satire.
Truth is stranger (and way more entertaining) than fiction because no one can make this stuff up.
And people stratch their heads at quantum theory, superposition, collapse of the wave function et al.
Yet it’s all explained in simple, real-world terms, right here in this thread. :)
Powers of perception — everyone really *is* an Einstein.
Lyric:
If I did you wrong, let me make it right
Or I can say I’m sorry for the rest of my life
Cold Outside by Big House
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3jA5HfTIks
These days when the wife asks, in the middle of the night, if I love her, I say “I just married you so I could cast you in my next snuff film”, turn and go back to sleep. I figure she’ll eventually stop asking middle of the night questions.
This is NOT satire! It happens.
Yes. But I never apologize for what I do in someone else’s dream.
yeah well they took reality and tried to make it sarcasm.
Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.
Lol...Mrs Deplorable is laughing at this...
Damn straight
If a man is alone in a forest, and his wife isn’t around to hear him, is he still wrong?
Im glad Im not the only woman who does this.
I’ve literally watched this conversation IRL with a couple I know.
Gotta just shake my head.
Yep.
Try this, honey if you want to have sex you don’t have to play this game.
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