In Appreciation For Primary Win, Bernie Promises To Make New Hampshire The Site Of His Very First Re-Education Camp (Satire)

Babylon Bee ^ | 2/12/2020

[Gamecock]

NEW HAMPSHIRE—After an astounding victory against Democratic rivals in the New Hampshire primaries, Bernie Sanders expressed his thanks to an adoring crowd of Bolsheviks and college students. Also present was a contingent of lying dog-faced pony soldiers, who flipped their support to Bernie after Biden’s recent gaffe.

“I happen to believe,” Senator Sanders began, “that the re-education of racists and freedom lovers from the middle of the country will be essential to healing and remaking this nation. That is why I am pleased to announce that we will build our very first re-education facility right here in the great state of New Hampshire.”

Wild cheers broke out from the crowd as Bernie supporters were moved by this great honor.

Sanders promised that this brand new camp will be tuition-free, and will provide unlimited government cheese, flour, and abortions to both men and women.

Bernie Sanders Campaign staffers were quick to inform him that such a facility may be redundant since the famous Dartmouth College Re-Education Camp already exists in New Hampshire. “That’s no problem,” said Bernie. “Just throw up some barbed wire around Dartmouth, build a train track for the cattle cars, and we’re done!”

Sources close to the Sanders campaign report that Bernie will pick AOC as his first Dean of Economics Re-education.

[Bonemaker]

They’ve already got a “reeducation” facility there....Dartmouth.

[kaehurowing]

Scary that your Democrat front-runner is a card carrying Soviet Socialist.

[gattaca]

Funny

[1Old Pro]

Scary that your Democrat front-runner is a card carrying Soviet Socialist.

Honestly, even though today's Democrat Party is radical socialists, I think that there are many registered Democrats that aren't. Thus the Amy temporary bounce. Sanders will be a total disaster candidate for them. Rank and file Dems don't buy his communist ideas.

[Nothingburger]

This piece is vintage, even for the Babylon Bee.

It’s so comforting to mock your enemies. And the RATs give us so much to mock.

[kaehurowing]

The thing is they are all like that, even if they are claiming to be moderate. For example, Biden is on tape saying believing Christians need to be classified as terrorists and put under surveillance by Homeland Security.

Even the “moderate” ones have a far left socialist agenda that they will implement to destroy our country and our freedoms.

[Mogger]

Don’t forget UNH and Plymouth.

[exnavy]

I still say, Hillary will come riding into the dems convention on her white stallion(not meaning bill)and steal the nomination out from under them all.

[SkyDancer]

Glad I saw the BB first.

[metmom]

True, but Dartmouth is an Ivy League school and much more famous.

[Svartalfiar]

They’ve already got a “reeducation” facility there....Dartmouth.

You know, I understand people around here don't always like to give clicks to some of these websites, and hence don't read the full article. But when it's part of the excerpt, what is so hard about reading that?

Bernie Sanders Campaign staffers were quick to inform him that such a facility may be redundant since the famous Dartmouth College Re-Education Camp already exists in New Hampshire. “That’s no problem,” said Bernie. “Just throw up some barbed wire around Dartmouth, build a train track for the cattle cars, and we’re done!”