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Trump's Power Doubles After Absorbing Impeachment Attack
The Babylon Bee ^ | Feb. 7 2020 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 02/07/2020 6:20:43 PM PST by xp38

WASHINGTON, D.C.—"It's over, Pelosi! You've lost!" shouted a cackling Trump as he and the Speaker of the House hovered above the White House, locked in mortal combat. "You have no cards left to play!"

Pelosi, ragged and weary from battling her archnemesis for three years, managed a weak smile.

"Oh, I think I might have one card up my sleeve," she growled through clenched dentures. "Progressives, assemble!" Down on the ground, something incredible happened: brave Resistance warriors from all over began to assemble and scream at the sky, their powers adding to her own. Pelosi's eyes began to glow blue as she was filled with all the power of every outraged progressive across the land.

"Impeachment attack, go!!!" she cried as she unleashed a blue energy beam at Trump's chest -- a desperate, final gambit to impeach him forever and remove him from office.

But Pelosi was horrified as Trump only absorbed the attack, feeding on its power.

"Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" he cackled as he gained more and more power from the impeachment attack. "Foolish mortals! Every attack only makes me stronger!"

Trump then drew on all his newfound power to create chaos at the Iowa primaries, cause himself to be acquitted, and force Pelosi to have a mental breakdown, all in the same week. Unfortunately, he then tweeted something dumb, his only weakness. But Democrats then responded to his dumb tweet with even dumber stuff, causing his power to grow even more.


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KEYWORDS: babylonbee
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bwahaha
1 posted on 02/07/2020 6:20:43 PM PST by xp38
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To: xp38

Top notch political reporting. Easily as good as the best that legends like CBS, NBC and PBS pull together.


2 posted on 02/07/2020 6:22:54 PM PST by glorgau
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To: xp38

3 posted on 02/07/2020 6:24:44 PM PST by Redcitizen ("There's no replacement for shot placement" - Paul Harrell)
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To: glorgau

Stephanie Grisham, White House communications director, just on with Sean Hannity. said no-one from White House Admin was invited to appear on any of the Sunday TV shows.

then said White House had offered people for all the shows and all turned them down, including Fox News.

added only Fox Business will have a White House Representative on Sunday.

Sean said if he had a Sunday show, he’d have someone from the Admin on.


4 posted on 02/07/2020 6:25:41 PM PST by MAGAthon
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To: glorgau

The thing about his tweets being his only weakness is wrong. Certainly one of his superpowers in my book.


5 posted on 02/07/2020 6:25:43 PM PST by xp38
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To: xp38

Glad I saw BB first, but yeah, a good house cleaning.


6 posted on 02/07/2020 6:26:10 PM PST by SkyDancer ( ~ Just Consider Me A Random Fact Generator ~ Eat Sleep Fly Repeat ~)
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To: glorgau

I’d believe the BB before any of those alphabet news sources.


7 posted on 02/07/2020 6:26:51 PM PST by SkyDancer ( ~ Just Consider Me A Random Fact Generator ~ Eat Sleep Fly Repeat ~)
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To: xp38

“Wonder Trump Power, Activate!”


8 posted on 02/07/2020 6:32:59 PM PST by kiryandil (Chris Wallace: Because someone has to drive the Clown Car)
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To: xp38

“Wonder Trump Power, Activate!”


9 posted on 02/07/2020 6:32:59 PM PST by kiryandil (Chris Wallace: Because someone has to drive the Clown Car)
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To: xp38

ROTFLMAO

One of the funniest Bee satires ever.


10 posted on 02/07/2020 6:33:05 PM PST by TigersEye (MAGA - 16 more years! - KAG)
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To: All

MAGA - 16 more years! - KAG

11 posted on 02/07/2020 6:35:02 PM PST by TigersEye (MAGA - 16 more years! - KAG)
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To: MAGAthon
then said White House had offered people for all the shows and all turned them down, including Fox News.

The Media is totally corrupt.

12 posted on 02/07/2020 6:35:54 PM PST by kiryandil (Chris Wallace: Because someone has to drive the Clown Car)
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To: xp38

There can be only one...


13 posted on 02/07/2020 6:37:07 PM PST by rockrr ( Everything is different now...)
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To: Redcitizen

14 posted on 02/07/2020 6:38:10 PM PST by bagster ("Even bad men love their mamas".)
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To: xp38

15 posted on 02/07/2020 6:40:54 PM PST by Magnum44 (My comprehensive terrorism plan: Hunt them down and kill them.)
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To: xp38

He sent her up the BOMB!!!!


16 posted on 02/07/2020 6:41:38 PM PST by griffin
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To: xp38

:D


17 posted on 02/07/2020 6:43:52 PM PST by Boomer ('Democrat' is now synonymous with 'corrupt')
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To: xp38

Don’t step on SuperTrump’s cape!


18 posted on 02/07/2020 6:44:48 PM PST by Boomer ('Democrat' is now synonymous with 'corrupt')
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To: xp38

19 posted on 02/07/2020 6:50:24 PM PST by xp38
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To: xp38

20 posted on 02/07/2020 6:56:38 PM PST by Vince Ferrer
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