Posted on 02/04/2020 4:12:18 PM PST by ConservativeStatement
Seven in 10 women think there is a societal pressure for women to become subordinate by taking their husband’s last name after getting married.
That’s not all — another element of marriage that makes women feel stifled is the joint bank account.
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
And the two shall become one.
There was a family of Macaluso’s where I hail from. Trinidad, CO
I chose my husband. I did not have any say in who my father was. Why would keeping my father’s name be better than my husbands? If a woman wanted to truly express an independent identity she might choose a completely different name, or no last name at all.
Personally, I was proud of my choice of spouse and happy to to have a family with his, now “our” name on it.
Now joint bank accounts, my wife gets the better of that arrangement, let me tell you!
But keeping separate bank accounts? Not really a marriage if you are going to keep separate accounts.
I was going to mention Quebec based on some experiences watching hockey but didn’t know about the provincial law. “Gender equality.”
Where was this survey done-in a FLDS community of polygamous households? I’ve never known a woman whose husband insisted on her using his last name or participate in having a joint bank account...
Neither my 1st hubby or MrT5 “expected” me to take their last name-they left that up to me-but the military did insist that last name on my ID card be the same as hubby’s.
I’ve never had a joint bank account-my mom told me from a very young age that it was not a good idea-if one spouse is more of a spender and the other a saver, fights can happen that could even destroy a relationship, so pay your share of the household bills from your own account and let him pay his share from his-I’m sure she was right-and I taught my own cub to keep her own bank account, too...
She probably goes by Mrs. Phil Collins and is proud of your fame and musical ability. I think you’re great too, Phil.
Very true!
I think it’s been that way in most cultures, throughout history.
In the past, women understood their own power and position, and didn’t undermine it the way so many do today. They found ways to strengthen it, instead.
My grandmother had a very happy marriage. She liked to tell that whenever she got a good idea for the house, and they implemented it, her husband would brag to visitors that it was his idea.
She said it always made her happy to just let him brag :-)
The ‘change your last name’ thing protected me from a horrible decision, thankfully...
We have a joint account but I keep track of it. I did at one time have a separate account as well as a joint account. I’ve never legally changed my name but I go by my married name too. Not as a “feminist” statement but just did not want to mess with the paperwork.
What’s Pete’s spouse’s last name? Don’t even know his first name. Beavis?
Met a woman during jury duty who imagined herself being one of those “liberated” women with a hyphenated surname but there was one problem. Her maiden name was “Strange” and her groom’s surname was “Idom”. She said she didn’t want anyone addressing her as “Ms. Strange-Idom”.
As to the joint bank account, that’s a real step of trust and unity of life. Not easy to let your spouse see all the nonsense you might fritter money on. I was mortified after a year of marriage when my husband informed me that I had spent $600 on Starbucks that year. He doesn’t even like coffee, so it looked especially unreasonable to him.
Very eloquently stated.
If she later decides to take back her own name during a divorce, who then becomes subordinate? Hint: one of them is probably getting legally imposed payments from the other and you can guess which one.
My taking Mr RooRoo’s last name was very important to him. I was fine with that. He told me later that if I had said no to that he would not have married me. I believe him LOL.
Where I drew the line was on NOT having a joint checking account. I knew too many couples who constantly bickered over their joint accounts, griped about the inevitable overdrawing of the account, unintentional bounced checks, etc.
We have never had a joint checking account and after 25 years, we’ve never had a single argument about money.
Live our response and agree. Well expressed!
Dang.. love your response!!!
That's a financial arrangement more suitable for room-mates, in my opinion.
"For better or for worse - in sickness and in health - til death do we part."
That's what my wife and I both signed up for, twenty-five years ago. I knew what I was getting into, and so did she. We chose to be a family anyway, and it's worked out pretty well, despite the inevitable frictions.
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