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Ralph Northam: 'A Militia Assembling To Defend Their Rights Against Tyranny Is A Dangerous First In American History'
Babylon Bee ^ | 01/21/2020 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 01/21/2020 5:34:23 PM PST by BipolarBob

RICHMOND, VA—Governor Ralph Northam condemned the group of gun owners who assembled yesterday, calling the concept "simply un-American."

"A militia assembling to defend their rights against tyranny is a dangerous first in American history," he said to a group of reporters, still teary-eyed from the tragic lack of violence at yesterday's rally. "This is not what America was founded on. It is not what our forefathers would have wanted."

"This well-regulated militia having the right to bear arms is diametrically opposed to everything the Founding Fathers wanted for our country." The governor said that Washington, Jefferson, and "those other guys" all probably did not like guns very much and when forced to fight would have used pointy sticks.

"It was not until the Trump administration that Americans started liking guns."

Northam said that we could have a better idea what the founders would have thought about guns, but sadly, "they did not see fit to leave us a document by which we might guard our country."


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Education; History; Humor
KEYWORDS: addsatiretothetitle; babylonbee; coonman; satire
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To: BipolarBob

The Bee hits another homer...


41 posted on 01/22/2020 3:23:07 AM PST by trebb (Don't howl about illegal leeches, or Trump in general, while not donating to FR - it's hypocritical.)
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To: Rastus

Yes! Sad that it was so close to the truth I didn’t think twice to correct. Love this website...


42 posted on 01/22/2020 4:04:27 AM PST by Caipirabob (Communists...Socialists...Fascists & AntiFa...Democrats...Traitors... Who can tell the difference?)
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To: realcleanguy
"It appears Ralph is either an idiot or he was born yesterday."

Depends on which rumors you hear and believe I guess but from friends in VA who were in college with the guy they figure he did so much speed and coke that he fried his brain.

43 posted on 01/22/2020 4:16:10 AM PST by Rashputin (Jesus Christ doesn't evacuate His troops, He leads them to victory !!)
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Babylon Bee, courtesy BipolarBob. Alliteration no extra charge!

44 posted on 01/22/2020 7:39:42 AM PST by SunkenCiv (Imagine an imaginary menagerie manager imagining managing an imaginary menagerie.)
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