Posted on 10/26/2019 3:56:58 AM PDT by LibWhacker
NEW YORK, NY—In an inspiring story from the world of professional cycling, a motorcyclist who identifies as a bicyclist has crushed all the regular bicyclists, setting an unbelievable world record.
In a local qualifying race for the World Road Cycling League, the motorcyclist crushed the previous 100-mile record of 3 hours, 13 minutes with his amazing new score of well under an hour.
Professional motorcycle racer Judd E. Banner, the brave trans-vehicle rider, was allowed to race after he told league organizers he's always felt like a bicyclist in a motorcyclist's body.
"Look, my ride has handlebars, two wheels, and a seat," he told reporters as he accepted a trophy for his incredible time trial. "Just because I've got a little extra hardware, such as an 1170-cc flat-twin engine with 110 horsepower, doesn't mean I have any kind of inherent advantage here."
Banner also said he painted the word "HUFFY" on the side of his bike, ensuring he has no advantage over the bikes that came out of the factory as bicycles.
Some critics say he needs to cut off his motor in order to make the competition fairer, but he quickly called these people bigots, and they were immediately banned from professional cycle racing
LOL LOL LOL! Or how about “Man who identifies as disabled crushes the competition at the paralypics”
The headline alone about made me spit out my morning tea!
My .380 identifies as a cell phone.
Brilliant!
ROFL. Excellent article and point made.
I could win the Tour de France more than Lance Armstrong did back in the day this way. :)
Finally, a funny one. Well done!
LOL LOL LOL! Or how about “Man who identifies as disabled crushes the competition at the paralypics”
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Like when Cartman joined the Special Olympics.
Wasn’t there a handicapped person who entered a bicycle race with a motorized bike in the last couple of years?
That’s a riot!
Hilarious! The writers at BB are great.
Funny - in an apt sort of way....
Sometimes the headlines sound so real they’re believable...it’s become that wacky out there.
I shot a cow elk the other day. I had a bull elk tag. I told the game warden that the cow identified as a bull therefore he could not cite me. Being we are in Colorado he shook my hand and bid me a good day
Did you tell him you heard the cow bugle, so you knew it identified as a bull?
As long as he wears spandex, he should be good to go.
Love this website.
The Bee’s humor is spot on.
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