Let's not forget the hats.
Posted on 10/20/2019 6:56:07 PM PDT by mkleesma
Whether you’re visiting your parents’ stuffy old Baptist church or piling into the family minivan because the kids are begging to ride the roller coaster at the sleek new megachurch down the street, the age-old question persists: what should you wear?
Wonder no longer, good and faithful servant. We sent a team of Babylon Bee agents to over two thousand churches, big and small, new and old, all across the land to research customs, dress codes, fashion do’s and fashion don’ts. This exhaustively researched article is the result, and it’s absolutely packed with helpful fashion tips.
Bookmark this page and check it any time you’re unsure what it is you ought to be wearing to church!
Baptist—When you hit the local Baptist church, dust off your best polo shirt and slacks, like Jesus wore. Women should be sure to wear long enough skirts, lest they should cause a brother to stumble by flashing too much ankle.
Calvary Chapel—God is worthy of our Sunday best, so make sure you pick out your finest sandals, shorts, and Hawaiian print shirt when you show your face at one of your city’s fifty-eight Calvary Chapel churches. The hardcore believers will be touting a copy of Left Behind or The Late Great Planet Earth tucked beneath their arm.
Presbyterian & Reformed—The key word here is classy. Sport a three-piece suit, top hat, and a monocle. Pair with glass of scotch or craft beer and a Romeo y Julieta brand cigar to really blend in.
Non-Denominational Megachurch—Whatever you woke up in. If it’s good enough to party in late Saturday night and crash on your couch in, it’s good enough for God. If you overdress by wearing a shirt that doesn’t show some skin or a low-key, modest outfit, you’ll stick out like a sore thumb!
Pentecostal—Go with something loose and flowing—anything good for waving your arms around in or flopping around like Magikarp. Secret pockets and compartments you can use to stow a tambourine or dancing ribbon are useful.
Catholic—You’d best wear your spiffiest Sunday outfit or your Grandma will pinch you, and it will hurt like the dickens. If your Grandma isn’t there, don’t worry, someone else’s Grandma will assume her pinching duties.
Methodist—Mainline Methodists should wear a tie-dye T-shirt with a left-leaning political statement like LOVE IS LOVE or PRIDE. If you’re one of the few Methodists still left in orthodoxy, a WESLEY IS MY HOMEBOY shirt oughtta do it.
Lutheran—16th-century German monastic robes are ideal. If you are having trouble locating those, you can go with a Baptist-esque business casual outfit as a fallback. But really, you’re gonna want to try to find the robes if you don’t want to look like a loser.
Episcopalian—Wear anything you want; no one will be there to see you anyway.
Eastern Orthodox—Your outfit doesn’t matter so much as the fact that you’ve got a long, flowing beard. Women are not exempt from this requirement.
Catholics can’t sing. ?? That’s a different one
Beautiful comment!
And we all look alike lol
I’m Roman Catholic and I wear (clean) jeans.
RC - Coat and tie. Folks in show up in jeans now and then, but they’re going to hell anyway.
Leni, I agree with you. At our PCA church (conservative Presbyterian) in our little mountain town, we are going to church foremost in order to worship our Lord. And out of respect for that event we dress modestly, neat-and-tidy, in something a bit better than every-day attire, because this is a celebration and a special day. The pastor, and session will be in suit and tie, as they are serving in the worship service, but certainly can remove their jacket if they want. And of course no one is looked down upon if their “better than everyday attire” is not as dressy as others. For instance, in the summer the staff of our summer camp who are here for only the summer, come in their best shorts and tee shirts.
+1
Being in a group to worship as a group is far more important than what one wears....
bttt
Our priest has a guide for what not to wear in which it states denim doesn’t belong at mass.
The last time Catholics wore their “spiffiest” to church sometime in the mid to late 60s, before they unleashed the hippie priests and guitar masses.
Amish and Mennonite old orders
Untrue. I remember going to Mass in the 80s when I was a kid, and my grandma told me to wear a suit because it looked "spiffy"
“In Catholicism we are to dress up to be in the presence of the Lord at Mass. the angels descend on the altar and the last supper is visited”
You go back in time?
Can you see those angels on the alter?
Christians are ALWAYS in the presence of the Lord.
No matter how they are dressed.
If you need to be dressed up to be “in the presence of the Lord” then, if you are a Christian, then you should dress in your Sunday Best when you go to sleep cause when you wake up, you are in the presence of Jesus.
For Christians, He is ALWAYS with us.
Isn’t that cool?
“Our priest has a guide for what not to wear in which it states denim doesn’t belong at mass”
So you agree with post 45?
https://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/3787755/posts?page=45#45
I think that was posted by a Catholic.
But you may go by whatever rule you want to as it seems you are a Catholic.
We (Christians) do not go to ‘mass’
Although I have, it was at the funeral of a friend.
I took communion as the Bible says ‘Do this in remembrance of me.’
It was not an ‘eucharist’ when I partook of it.
We worship God when ever we want to.
Wearing what ever we are wearing at the time.
Some of us worship Him in our underwear, when we get up in the morning.
Well, those of us that sleep in our underwear...
There are a lot of sociological studies about clothing and behavior.
When you wear formal clothing, you are essentially acknowledging you are to take the ceremony seriously.
So schools with dress codes and uniforms see a change of behavior in students. The idea is similar to the “broken window” observation of crime: When there is graffiti and broken windows, it sends a message that dysfunctional behavior is tolerated.
This is true if you put on a uniform (for school, in the military, or even when we docs put on our “white coat”. It means you aren't’ just yourself, but taking seriously your job. IN worship, dressing well means you are respecting the Lord in a public service.
In the 1960s, the idea was to dress informally so that the virtue pushed was that everyone was equal.
Both points of view have merit.
Let's not forget the hats.
I can always count on the gory hatred of Catholicism on this site.
First thing I said was I am Catholic
So it was not directed toward you. So get off my case. Wear what you want to wear no one cares least of all me.
Bless your grandma. I remember Monsignor castigating the parishioners in more than one homily on the way they were dressing for Mass. We needed more grandmas like yours!
Actually I am not missing the point, I am making one.
For having a personal relationship with Jesus.
When I was in “ministry”—in quotes because it had nothing to do with what is usually called a ministry—my ministry was setting up for church in a rented building.
I would arrive 2 hrs before church and do my thing.
I would wear a coat and tie because of the respect I had for God.
I was also a greeter and “loose ends” guy.
When church was over I would put everything way.
I was usually the first to arrive and the last to leave.
There were no hard and fast rules, people of all different socio-political factors attended, some in shorts etc and many in suits and nice dresses.
We were are equal before God.
When I had finished my “apprenticeship” of doing menial tasks, God put me in the ministry of Chaplin to the local jail.
I did Bible studies under the auspices of the Gideons.
Visited inmates in all of my spare time, as I had a business to run.
Sat in court to support those that had no family or friends showing up in support.
Helped lawyers and police understand what really happened in many cases.
Just rambling, sorry...
My point is and always will be presenting the Gospel message, here at Free Republic and in my every day life.
I agree with your assessments of dress codes, etc...very true all of it.
(Pinging Dr. Zoo because of his cool lab coat.)
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