Posted on 08/18/2019 7:37:27 AM PDT by metmom
PHILADELPHIA, PA—Speaking to a packed 30-seat arena, Bill Clinton remarked on Jeffrey Epstein's recent passing, saying that Epstein's cause of death "really depends on what your definition of 'suicide' is."
"Did Epstein commit suicide?" asked an attendee at the event.
A wide-eyed Clinton shrugged his shoulders. "I mean, it really depends on what your definition of suicide is, heh."
An awkward silence ensued. Bill turned to look at Hillary for support, but she just glared at him and ran her finger across her throat, a metaphor that means "death."
He went on, "Heh, I mean, well, we've got to define terms here, alright? If you mean, 'Did he hang himself without any outside assistance?' then I'd say that does not fall under the definition of what may or may not have occurred."
Hillary held up a pair of finger guns to her husband's head in a threatening fashion, another metaphor that means "death."
Bill gulped. "But, well, heh, if you mean did he hang himself and then shoot himself three times in the back of the head just to be sure? Then yeah, I'd say he committed suicide."
"Hillary and I did not have murderous relations with that man!" he insisted as Hillary beckoned him backstage.
ROTHLMAO
That’s so funny. It would be cool to write for a publication like that.
I can only imagine.
The govt couldn’t take care of 1 man and they want to take care of all healthcare.
Yes, the line has fully blurred. We are living in the Twilight Zone, thanks to the Deep State and UniParty.
Probably over a billion people worldwide are convinced that his suicide was engineered, but it is called a conspiracy theory.
OMG! That’s hilarious! Good job! :-)
IF they were on suicide watch, which he supposedly wasn't.
I love The Babylon Bee.
I can’t imagine what it’s like to work there or be married to someone who writes for them.
I heard that, too. He also repeated it on his show. I love Greg Gutfield - he makes 'The Five', and HIS show is great, too.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.