Poop less for a cleaner planet, says Brazil's president

AFP ^ | Aug. 9, 2019 | AFP

[PROCON]

Brasília (AFP) - Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro suggested Friday that people "poop every other day" as a way to save the environment, after he came under fire for a surge in deforestation of the Amazon since he came to power.

The far-right leader offered this idea in response to a journalist's question as to whether it was possible to simultaneously spur economic growth, feed the world's hungry and also preserve the environment.

"It's enough to eat a little less. You talk about environmental pollution. It's enough to poop every other day. That will be better for the whole world," said Bolsonaro, who earlier this month sacked the head of a government agency that had reported a major increase in Amazon deforestation.

[ifinnegan]

Remember when the rain forest was the biggest threat.

25-30 years ago it was the climate change like scare of its time

By now the whole rain forest was supposed to be gone, plowed over to make hamburgers for Americans.

[HighSierra5]

When Nadless lets loose it looks like a pile of Schiff.

[TomGuy]

And if you only take a breath once every 30-seconds, you will cut down on the carbon dioxide you emit.

And if you only fart once every other day, you will cut down on the methane you emit.

So, does eating more insects increase or decrease the methane emissions?

[/s]

—

These people are NUTS!

[Migraine]

I think he’s stooging someone. It’s a parody on Sheryl Crow’s half-sheet of TP.

[Migraine]

I do believe he was pulling the reporter’s leg.

...or finger.

[grey_whiskers]

And wipe with one square, said Sheryl Crow.

"Have you seen my ass?" replies Rosie O'Donut.

[bagster]

#PinchItOff

[grey_whiskers]

Half a loaf is better than none!

[bagster]

Here I sit, broken hearted
tried to schiff, but only farted.

#SaveThePlanet

[TigersEye]

El Presidente is pro-constipation? I’m not seeing a groundswell of support for that policy!

[lee martell]

That sounds like something Philippine President Dutarte would say. Batty.

[DoodleBob]

I tell them to stop exhaling, to reduce CO2 in the atmosphere.

Oh come on...that's not feasible.

But if you tell them to plug up one of their nostrils, that will cut their CO2 emissions by 50%.

[elcid1970]

Bolsonaro is restoring Brazilians’ gun rights.

This is pure spoof.

[gathersnomoss]

But, what would we do without the revolutionary adhesive, Brown 25? Oh, the humanity...

[xp38]

Somewhere Sheryl is nodding in agreement.

[PROCON]

..the revolutionary adhesive, Brown 25

LOL, Brown 25, what show/movie was that line in?

I remember laughing my butt off when I saw it coming out the faucet.

[cgbg]

If people pooped in the Amazon basin wouldn’t that help fertilize the forest growth there?

How about we send all our virtue signaling Democratic friends there on a ten year sabbatical—should get it done—for the planet!

[null and void]

Somewhere Sheryl is crowing in agreement.

[sparklite2]

The Babylon Bee has been scooped.

[Pollard]

Yeah but they’re also anal retentive