Posted on 08/06/2019 5:21:14 PM PDT by metmom
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Well, this is embarrassing: Congress accidentally just banned the federal government.
The major faux pas came during a push for more legislation against guns and the deranged people who wield them to commit acts of terror. After some bipartisan bickering and tacking billions of dollars of pork onto the proposed legislation, lawmakers virtuously passed a bill that outlaws violent gun-wielding groups.
Though the legislation was intended to target fringe groups that use firearms to commit acts of violence, such as gangs, far-right nationalist groups, and terrorists, it was worded too vaguely and accidentally banned the entire federal government. The law specifically named "groups that use violence and wield guns to steal money and property, threaten people, and kill innocent civilians in a callous, egregious manner." Instantly, the federal government became an outlaw.
"We just meant, like, regular, on-the-street criminals," said one congressman sheepishly. "Not, like, official, elected criminals."
Congress appealed to the courts and thankfully, a judge who was chosen by the federal government and whose paycheck comes from the federal government ruled that the federal government was exempt from the law.
"That was a close one," said one politician. "Next time we'll be more careful to specify which types of violence are OK."
Oh thank Christ if true.
It would be great if it also dissolved all the damn alphabet agencies too.
If only......
The Babylon Bee is in rare form this week.
They have several hysterical articles up.
yeah i read the source after i posted.... :(
They’re on break right now anyways.
Which is probably the only reason ridiculously restrictive gun control measures have not been railroaded through by now.
Trump supporting red flag bs is not going to help anyone, especially lawful gun owners. Its goingtobe used by the leftfor disarming everyone they hate.
“Not, like, official, elected criminals.” At least he knows the difference between the two types of criminals.
I read the history of US taxes. There was a time that it was unthinkable that the Federal government would demand taxes from illegal activity. But then bootlegging was making people rich. Naturally, the government was jealous, and wanted “their cut.” So the Supreme Court ruled that, sure, money from illegal activity could be taxed. U.S. vs. Sullivan (1927). I mean, a bucks a buck!
Ain’t it the truth. When it comes to scamming money from people; the government doesn’t like competition.
All the filthy federal government corruption, brutality and hideous abuse of citizens is a legacy of the outcome of the Civil War.
Governments murdered 262,000,000 of their own citizens in the 20th century alone.
https://www.hawaii.edu/powerkills/20TH.HTM
Of course they should be red-flagged.
Babylon Bee is SATIRE
I think a lot of people missed that and I thought this one was so obvious that it did not need the *satire* tag.
Damn you, Babylon Bee. Your satire is amusing, but you get me excited until I notice the source.
I don’t write the stuff.
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