Posted on 06/20/2019 10:03:45 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd
“My boyfriend can’t get over how many people I’ve slept with. I shouldn’t have told him, but he pressed me for the info. He was 'nerdy’ for most of high school and college, and just started coming into his own in his mid to late 20s. I have been dating consistently for years, and have had my fair share of hookups and relationships. And while I don’t think my number is crazy at all, he can’t deal with the discrepancy. We’ve been dating for two years and we’re serious. I don’t want to break up. How can I handle this?”
I agree that you probably shouldn’t have told him, but lots of people fall into the trap of discussing their sexual history with their current partner, and I get it. If you trust someone, it’s natural to want to talk about what you’ve learned from past relationships and sexual experiences. That said, numbers really aren’t necessary, and rarely do anything aside from making one person feel bad.
But you can’t go back, and his reaction may have provoked an important conversation. After all (and as you well know), this isn’t an issue of who has slept with more people. It’s about his comfort with his past, and it’s about both of you establishing that your needs are being met by this relationship.
First, you have to figure out the problem you’re tackling, because it will change the course of action.
(Excerpt) Read more at yahoo.com ...
whipped? you could get stoned to death for that in Islam today.
“If you are married, and your wife has a baby from another man, even if you take a paternity test you are paying for it for 18 years, and she’ll take half. Quite a few men have lost this in court. Not to mention no one wants to think the kid may not be theirs.”
I think a lot of people, men included, don’t realize that risk - but yea, get a feminist judge and they simply don’t give a crap, all they want is for someone to pay, and if the (non-father) husband has some money, it’s game over for him.
Interesting that there are NO STATE LAWS to prevent this injustice, at least that I know of. That’s how stacked it is against men - here at least.
“I have no intention of every re-marrying. Just not worth it.”
Sad, but understandable, given what this country has become. And like millions and millions of other men, you are out of the game, so the great feminist movement is left with fewer and fewer decent guys being available.
A key feature that distinguishes civilized men from the savage is the ability to put long-term interests ahead of short-term interests. Another key feature is the dominance of the mind over the body, rather than reverse.
When I see these homosexuals and abortion activists and other, even crazier perverts out in the street, I see a mob of barbarians, demanding not only satisfaction of short-term interests but also to silence those who discuss the long-term consequences. These are not civilized people, but nigh-mechanical avatars of the baser, fallen side of human nature.
Yup - and my separated/ex wife (4 months, have to wait 12 in the Carolinas unfortunately) realized this within 4 weeks and is begging me to stay with her even though I’ve already agreed and court approved to give her half our net worth (~$300k to her) and 13 years of alimony of more than enough to not have to work at all during that time and still live upper middle class. She spent one weekeout out with her younger sister going to bars and I think downloading some of these dating apps and came running back, but its too late. We’ll still be friends - we get along well most of the time, but that’s it.
I think I got knocked over by one of those gals getting on an airplane.
This is completely anecdotal but I think relevant. I went to a top 10 executive MBA program in 2011-2012. Average age at entry was ~36, roughly 50 people, ~25% female. We stayed in campus every other Friday for classes Friday/Saturday so we got to know each other well. 5 of the 12 women said their perfect job was trophy wife — and these were all women at director level or higher — and you could tell several of the others felt the same way but were too old (late 40s) to say that. I was blown away when I heard that.
...and so you touch on another of the points I’ve made here. Often the woman might be just fine, but what about the people around her, her friends, relatives, co-workers, etc. When they’re all saying “Divorce the guy, for heaven’s sake”, peer pressure is to resist. And that is American society today...which is why I went halfway around the world for my excellent wife. Back where she’s from, divorce was still a stigma, not a badge of honor.
She was old. He kept her sheltered. He married her young. She didn’t realize that her marriage wasn’t normal until he died.
Depends. Me I prefer the one with the better character.
Or at least that’s what she said
And women. Both of my nephews who have long term girlfriends and with whom they have bought a mortgage. Both of the girls aren’t ready for marriage even though the boys are. The girls are working on their college degrees while working full time. Marriage and children will have to wait.
I knew her. She was my Uncle’s mother. I went to church with her grandkids.
Profile 1: 8/10 attractive man; 8/10 personality; 7/10 character; 10/10 on intelligence, 8/10 on charm; Salary: $300k/year; net worth $500k
Profile 2: 7.5/10 attractive; 9/10 personality; 8/10 character, 5/10 intelligence, 9/10 charm; Salary: $18,000/year. Net worth: negative $10k.
Profile 2 has a slightly better "character" but significantly lower in intelligence, income and net worth. I'd bet 95 out of 100 women would choose profile 1 over 2, especially in real life where "feels" comes into play.
I know lots of people I don’t believe when it comes to their relationships, both men and women. Both sexes tend to hide things that are embarrassing to themselves and put their S/O in as poor of a light as possible if they think it will garner them sympathy, money or another s/o. It’s highly unlikely this woman would come out and say “I was lazy and glad to live off that working brat till he died”
She was old. She was raised to accept that marriage worked that way.
Understand why I have issues with your generalizations.
The only women I’ve ever met that weren’t ready to marry were the ones that still were very interested in playing the field and “finding” themselves. Guys tend to be ready when they trust the gal, are attracted to the gal, and think they can afford the gal.
I know lots of old women that played the sympathy card and woe is me stories that are at best half true. My grandmother did it after my grandfather passed away in his early 50s from a trucking accident. My other grandmother never did it over my grandfather after he passed but bitched about my mother (her care-giver) nonstop to relatives out of state who weren’t helping at all. That’s not to say this woman story can’t be true, but I’m extremely skeptical.
No man I ever met wanted a virgin, whether he was interested in marriage or not.
It's all good though. I understand women's nature now. I can always navigating anything as long as I correctly understand the rules and the players. And unless you really want kids, and I don't want kids, your best bet with marriage if you are a high value (or future high value) male is not to play. Tweaks to alimony and child custody/support laws could fix it fairly easily over a generation or so but that isn't likely to happen.
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