Posted on 03/13/2019 5:37:41 PM PDT by Gamecock
Full Title: Exasperated Olive Garden Waitress Asks Bernie Sanders If He's Just Gonna Sit There Eating Free Breadsticks All Night
HYATTSVILLE, MD—An exasperated waitress at a local Olive Garden restaurant was forced to ask Senator Bernie Sanders if he was just gonna sit there all night eating free breadsticks or if he was going to order something, sources confirmed Monday. evening.
Sanders walked in and the waitress asked if she could bring him a basket of breadsticks while he thought about what he wanted to order. Sanders' eyes went wild. "Free bread? Oh, I think I would like that very much."
"You mean---you'll just bring breadsticks I can much on while I mull over the menu?" he asked. "I don't have to stand in a line for them or anything? Great, bring 2 baskets---no wait, make that 3!"
The senator also ordered a water to sip on and proceeded to examine the menu carefully for the next three hours. "You know what the problem with places like this is?" he asked his frustrated server 30 minutes after the restaurant closed and he still hadn't ordered anything. "There's too much selection. I don't want to live in a world where we have 14 different varieties of chicken alfredo. Selection, choice, abundance---all evils of late-stage capitalism!"
About an hour later, Sanders reportedly attempted to escape out the bathroom window to avoid paying for anything, but his tufts of hair got caught on the window sill.
At publishing time, Sanders took to Twitter to rant against the evils of capitalism after Olive Garden attempted to charge him $4.99 for the unlimited breadsticks.
Lol Bob Hope knew.
The Bee is more reliable than the WP or CNN. We don’t require a “satire” label on their stories.
I thought they meant that he did this on Saturday (Sat)
but it is very believable
Sat because I ran out of space on the title box.
You are aware there is a space limitation? I already had to cut the title by several words. Any thing else would have been unreadable.
To my 25
He should watch “Moscow on the Hudson”.
Soon the Olive Garden will print new menus charging for breadsticks and calling them sandersticks.
Yes, I am and it is a long title.
But I think it should have been truncated so it could still be labeled as satire.
If you believe everything you read, you are better off not reading.
I saw it on a tee shirt.
Their soup, salad and breadsticks are an awesome deal. The food is just delicious, especially the lasagna. I don’t care that they’re a chain restaurant and rumors are that the food is already prepackaged and they just heat it up.
Satire, still, it could happen. Thanks Gamecock.
“Truth is always stranger than fiction.”
I thought the “(SAT)” meant this was a Saturday Night Live sketch.
That was as good a guess as any!
(And probably a disappointment when you actually clicked through. I think that’s most of the problem, so much of the satire posted here just isn’t worth the moments to read it.)
Well it shows how good the writers are at the Babylon Bee when you have trouble telling satire from real life.
No, if it’s not a satisfying read, it’s not good satire.
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