Posted on 03/13/2019 5:37:41 PM PDT by Gamecock
Full Title: Exasperated Olive Garden Waitress Asks Bernie Sanders If He's Just Gonna Sit There Eating Free Breadsticks All Night
HYATTSVILLE, MD—An exasperated waitress at a local Olive Garden restaurant was forced to ask Senator Bernie Sanders if he was just gonna sit there all night eating free breadsticks or if he was going to order something, sources confirmed Monday. evening.
Sanders walked in and the waitress asked if she could bring him a basket of breadsticks while he thought about what he wanted to order. Sanders' eyes went wild. "Free bread? Oh, I think I would like that very much."
"You mean---you'll just bring breadsticks I can much on while I mull over the menu?" he asked. "I don't have to stand in a line for them or anything? Great, bring 2 baskets---no wait, make that 3!"
The senator also ordered a water to sip on and proceeded to examine the menu carefully for the next three hours. "You know what the problem with places like this is?" he asked his frustrated server 30 minutes after the restaurant closed and he still hadn't ordered anything. "There's too much selection. I don't want to live in a world where we have 14 different varieties of chicken alfredo. Selection, choice, abundance---all evils of late-stage capitalism!"
About an hour later, Sanders reportedly attempted to escape out the bathroom window to avoid paying for anything, but his tufts of hair got caught on the window sill.
At publishing time, Sanders took to Twitter to rant against the evils of capitalism after Olive Garden attempted to charge him $4.99 for the unlimited breadsticks.
HA!
Commies expect everything for free, don’t ya know
There is no more satire. Nothing we can make up tops the reality of the democRats
Satire???
Sounds like real life to me.
There is no more satire. Nothing we can make up tops the reality of the democRats”
That’s the truth. I quit saying “That can’t be true” or “That’s insane” a long time ago.
The people thank you.
Satire IMO should be spelled out in the title, not abbreviated.
I was there. He was taking food off everyone’s plates, and dividing it up “equally.” Of course, he kept most for himself.
The Babylon Bee is satire.
If this were my website, I would REQUIRE that SATIRE be posted in the headline of all satire. Otherwise, what you are about to witness will happen: all kinds of Freepers who only read headlines (Cough cough) will comment as if it is real, and the lefties have ammunition to say “LOOK! Those people at Free Republic are soooo stupid!”. I wish you idiots posting this stuff without putting “satire” in the headline would knock it off.
Or people could read the article and use their own good brains. Or are people are so dumb they need humor warning labels?
True to life story.
There are other satire articles posted and people rightly get annoyed when they get lured into them with misleading/bogus titles. So the convention here is to clearly label it as satire in the headline. Pretty basic and reasonable.
LOL!
The Bee is on fire these days. Way funnier than anything on TV.
“Sanders reportedly attempted to escape out the bathroom window to avoid paying for anything, but his tufts of hair got caught on the window sill.”
Thanks, I needed a good belly laugh!
Like most liberals, he’s a cheap bastard.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.