Skip to comments.Senior Smiles
Posted on 10/08/2018 1:10:59 PM PDT by sodpoodle
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-pane, energy-efficient kind.
Today, I got a call from
Home Depot who installed them. The caller complained that the work had been completed a year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.
Helloooo,........... just because I'm a Senior Citizen doesn't mean that I am automatically mentally challenged.
So, I told him just what his fast-talking sales guy told me last year -- that these windows would pay for themselves in a year---
Hellooooo? It's been a year, so they're paid for, I told him.
There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally hung up.
He never called back. I bet he felt like an idiot.
A man who’d just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
The female blonde mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, ‘I don’t care what it costs, but have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.’
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly...
She says to the mortician, ‘Whatever this cost, I’m very satisfied... You did an excellent job and I’m very grateful. How much did you spend?’
To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.
‘There’s no charge,’ she says.
‘No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!’ she says.
‘Honestly,’ the blonde says, ‘it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband’s size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.’
‘So I just switched the heads.’
Better check with the county clerk. They probably put a lien on the house.
Love ya Sod.......Sac
SCOTCH WITH 2 DROPS OF WATER
A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says ‘I’m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it’s today. ‘The bartender says’ well, since it’s your birthday, I’ll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.
‘As the woman finishes her drink the woman to her right says ‘I would like to buy you a drink, too.’ The old woman says ‘thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.’ ‘Coming up’ says the bartender. As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says ‘I would like to buy you one, too.’ The old woman says thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.’ ‘Coming right up’ the bartender says.
As he gives her the drink, he says ‘Ma’am, I’m dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?’ The old woman replies ‘sonny, when you’re my age, you’ve learned how to hold your liquor... Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.’
You don’t really need double-pane.
What you do need is good frames.
Unless maybe you live in Alaska.
That I don’t know.
Gross but funny;0
Since they’re paid for, now just kick back and watch the money roll in. You’re in the black!
LUV YAH TOO;)
A man says to this wife, “When I die, I want you to marry Larry.”
The wife responds, “Larry? But you hate Larry, he’s your worst enemy.”
To which the husband responds, “Yes! And I want him to suffer as I have suffered!”
The air gap is what keeps the heat or cold out.
You are right, but Berliner is also right — the frames need to be insulating, too.
Woman - “It’s finished!”
Man - “What, the beer?!?!”
Woman - “No! Our relationship.”
Man - “What a relief, you had me scared for a moment.”
The gap is a vacuum which does not allow conduction of heat or cold.
The gap is usually air, argon, or krypton. Building them to hold a vacuum would be too expensive - think of the pressure on the glass.
An elderly Norwegian woman, Inga Swenson, was working in her garden on a hot summer day. Although not a frequent beer drinker, she thought a cold beer would hit the spot after all that work in the sun.
After cleaning up, she walks into the village to the town’s pub. The bartender, Ole, is surprised to see Inga. She’s never been in before.
“And what will you have?” asks Ole
“Oh, I tink a beer vuld be nice, Ole”, replies Inga
Sensing Inga does not know what beer she wants, he goes basic “Anheuser-Busch, Inga??”
“Oh it’s fine tanks, Ole. And how’s your veeener?” replies Inga
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