Posted on 10/06/2018 10:49:20 AM PDT by sodpoodle
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.
'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.
He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being eight again'?
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.
'I meant my dress size, you f#**%g! retard!!!!'
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.
Joke my daughter told me today:
A bunny asks a baker: Do you have any carrot cakes?
The baker replies: No.
Next day the bunny asks the baker: Do you have any carrot cakes?
The baker replies: No.
Day after that the bunny asks the baker: Do you have any carrot cakes?
The baker replies: Yes I have a hundred carrot cakes.
The bunny says: I hate carrot cakes!
NOBODY was referring to your son. It’s a joke. Grow up.
Cannot believe this ‘humor’ thread has become so contentious.
Might be the last one I post.
Will spend my time studying law for a future in government;)
An oldie....As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.” She removes all her clothing and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman? “A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, “Here, iron this!”.
Says the woman who has neither.
Joke em if they can’t take a funk.
Usually your joke threads are great. I appreciate them.
This time however... you should ask the admin moderator to delete this thread.
No no keep posting.
An elderly man went to the doctor for a checkup and took his wife with him. The doctor said, “We’ll have to do some tests.” The old man couldn’t hear so the wife screamed it in his ear. Then the doctor said, “We’ll need a stool sample and a urine sample.” The old man says “Eh?” The wife screams, “He wants your shorts!”
neither what?
I heard that one before but I still laugh every time I hear it..........
It’s in Ireland.
Duck walks into a bakery. “D’ya have any spare bread, laddy?”
Baker: “Nae, duck, I have nae bread for ya!”
Next day, duck walks back in. “D’ya have any spare bread t’day, laddy?”
Baker: “Nae, duck! I have nae damned bread for ya!!!!”
Next day, duck walks back in. “How about t’day? D’ya have any spare bread t’day, laddy?”
Baker: “NAE, DUCK! AN’ IF YA ASK ME AGAIN, I’ll NAIL YOUR FEET TO THE FLOOR!!!”
Next day, duck walks back in. The baker glowers at the duck. The duck looks back. Finally, the duck ask, “D’ya have any nails?”
The baker is surprised. “Why nae, duck, I haven’t any nails!”
The duck pauses for a minute. “Good. D’ya have any spare bread?”
Why?
I didn’t see that.
Why on God’s green earth would you say that?
Best chuckle I’ve had all day. Thx.
You nailed it!
Have you not read the replies? The joke is vulgar, which violates FR’s rules. The term retard pissed off one Freeper which started a hijack. And even the OP came to regret it.
Could be that the kid’s biggest problem is that his parents don’t know the difference between retardation and autism.
LOL!
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