Posted on 07/31/2018 9:54:28 AM PDT by Simon Green
Selfish? Totally.
I have one boy. He’s the most special of all special boys and handsome as can be. But he’s autistic.
....
All the incidentals and help my friends have, I do not.
All the typical milestones my friends get to enjoy and show off, I do not.
Before I met my husband, I dreamt of a life similar to that of Carrie Bradshaw on Sex and the City. I know — it’s nauseating for me, too — but that’s the time I grew up in.
I wanted to be a writer, living in NYC, in a fabulous apartment, meeting men and falling in love, over and over again.
Well, I found the love part and I'm a writer, so I guess two out of four ain’t bad?
I miss that dream.
What would I be doing differently in that version of myself than the one I’m living now?
Currently, I’m writing this on the couch in a pitch black room so that my son doesn’t wake up or get fidgety. Because once he’s up, he’s up.
I’d like to think I’d be in my queen-sized bed in a large studio, inhaling a breeze from the open window that delivers the flavors of the street vendors and 24-hour food places, as I write my bloody little heart out the day before a deadline. Because if one thing is consistent, it’s that I’m a procrastinator in both scenarios.
But that’s all in another life, one that never formed, and one that will never be.
Can I honestly say I regret having my son? Most days, my answer would be yes.
(Excerpt) Read more at yourtango.com ...
If I could afford it, I would have a dozen more children.
She's still a nitwit who formed her idea of what life is like from a moronic TV show. Thanks Simon Green.
no it just that it is what was meant to happen....I am 52 and never married my biggest regret is no wife and kids...as far as I am concerned having a meaningful family life is a lot better then having that meaningful career one pales in comparison to the other.
Hey sweetie - you should have thought about career vs child >before< not after. I made the decision of a career and never looked back.
She said she doesn’t believe in God. She will when she meets Him.
“... meeting men and falling in love, over and over again.”
Sounds exhausting! Who has that much energy?
Lola should simply sell the child then she can use the money to help her attain some remnant of the “life she could have had.” That would seem to fit right in to the liberal view of things.
To each their own. I'm 56, never married, no kids, no regrets. I enjoy my life.
Atheist Jewish girl ambivalently married in NYC with a special need child wishing she was somebody cool and famous living in her Choos and Céline bags
Well you are somebody to that child lady....maybe all he’s got
You selfish bitch
I had to be single dad earlier in my life alone with two daughters and later days last year
Man..my hats off to ya
Between cleaning house and cooking and two loads of laundry daily and working 24/7 self employed
I went from six five 250 to six five 215
That was the good part
I went to bed tired and slept good
I never even think about it
Five kids and almost two grandkids and two older relatives I care or cared for
It’s just becomes nature
Unless at the beach I roll over in the morning knowing yep it’s daylight and bills to pay
God bless u
Selfish witch.
Sorry if I caused offense. It wasn't my intention to imply that parents of children who might have special needs are also not blessed. I'm not going to speak for these parents because I can't.
I should have chosen my words more carefully.
Maybe you'll make him feel so unwanted that he will kill himself and you will be free at last! In fact, maybe you could suggest it every once in a while.
I wonder how your mother felt about motherhood?
This is one seriously selfish individual!
That is ok. Still love you and your great posts. I remember a time when I too would say “as long as he’s healthy” when I was pregnant. It should go without saying that of course, we all prefer health to any lack of it. But life “in Holland” rather than Italy is also blessed. (An old analogy for parents discovering their child has disabilities. They planned on “a trip to Italy” and now find out they are going to Holland instead. Maybe the boy with no sight won’t be a race car driver.... but he might be XYZ instead which is just as wonderful.)
My son has autism. It’s a hard road. Every parent wants to experience pride and joy in what their kids do, but there’s very little of that for me. I not even allowed to hug him. I sincerely hope can live independently when he’s a grown man. If not, I may drink myself to death.
Autism is a difficult diagnosis.
up to about 30 years ago these kids were institutionalized. For their sake and the sakes of the families.
Now we institutionalize them in group homes, after the families have suffered, been torn apart and have had the stuffing tossed out of them.
I know of three parents who have murdered their autistic child then suicided. Because I am not talking about someone with some disabilities, I am talking about children who put holes in the plasterboard, daily, who chew off their fingers, poke out their eyes, and yell and scream.
Certainly not all of them, but there are levels of enormous difficulties. Patent essentially turn the kids room into a cell.
Tragic for they love their kids deeply, but get nothing back.
Good that she is venting. Perhaps the child will qualify for a group home someday.
She doesn’t know what it means to really love him. Maybe some day she will find out what love is. It isn’t merely putting up with him. Without him her heart would be so much, much colder even than it is. She can thank God he is in her life. Nothing is worth love, nothing.
[Song of Solomon 8:6-8 KJV] 6 Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love [is] strong as death; jealousy [is] cruel as the grave: the coals thereof [are] coals of fire, [which hath a] most vehement flame. 7 Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if [a] man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.
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