Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

I Regret Having My Child Because I Miss The Life I Could Have Had
Your Tango ^ | 07/30/18 | Lola Stark

Posted on 07/31/2018 9:54:28 AM PDT by Simon Green

Selfish? Totally.

I have one boy. He’s the most special of all special boys and handsome as can be. But he’s autistic.

....

All the incidentals and help my friends have, I do not.

All the typical milestones my friends get to enjoy and show off, I do not.

Before I met my husband, I dreamt of a life similar to that of Carrie Bradshaw on Sex and the City. I know — it’s nauseating for me, too — but that’s the time I grew up in.

I wanted to be a writer, living in NYC, in a fabulous apartment, meeting men and falling in love, over and over again.

Well, I found the love part and I'm a writer, so I guess two out of four ain’t bad?

I miss that dream.

What would I be doing differently in that version of myself than the one I’m living now?

Currently, I’m writing this on the couch in a pitch black room so that my son doesn’t wake up or get fidgety. Because once he’s up, he’s up.

I’d like to think I’d be in my queen-sized bed in a large studio, inhaling a breeze from the open window that delivers the flavors of the street vendors and 24-hour food places, as I write my bloody little heart out the day before a deadline. Because if one thing is consistent, it’s that I’m a procrastinator in both scenarios.

But that’s all in another life, one that never formed, and one that will never be.

Can I honestly say I regret having my son? Most days, my answer would be yes.

(Excerpt) Read more at yourtango.com ...


TOPICS: Books/Literature; Health/Medicine; Society
KEYWORDS: abortion; carriebradshaw; lolastark; sad; sexandthecity; snowflakes
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 41-6061-8081-100101-119 last
To: Simon Green

If I could afford it, I would have a dozen more children.


101 posted on 07/31/2018 12:07:05 PM PDT by Mr. K (No consequence of repealing Obamacare is worse than Obamacare itself.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: AdmSmith; AnonymousConservative; Berosus; Bockscar; cardinal4; ColdOne; Convert from ECUSA; ...
She's still a nitwit who formed her idea of what life is like from a moronic TV show. Thanks Simon Green.

102 posted on 07/31/2018 12:21:12 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (www.tapatalk.com/groups/godsgravesglyphs/, forum.darwincentral.org, www.gopbriefingroom.com)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Simon Green

no it just that it is what was meant to happen....I am 52 and never married my biggest regret is no wife and kids...as far as I am concerned having a meaningful family life is a lot better then having that meaningful career one pales in comparison to the other.


103 posted on 07/31/2018 12:32:30 PM PDT by PCPOET7
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 94 | View Replies]

To: Simon Green

Hey sweetie - you should have thought about career vs child >before< not after. I made the decision of a career and never looked back.


104 posted on 07/31/2018 12:37:37 PM PDT by SkyDancer ( ~ Just Consider Me A Random Fact Generator ~ Eat Sleep Fly Repeat ~)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: FatherofFive

She said she doesn’t believe in God. She will when she meets Him.


105 posted on 07/31/2018 12:44:10 PM PDT by jimbug
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Simon Green

“... meeting men and falling in love, over and over again.”

Sounds exhausting! Who has that much energy?


106 posted on 07/31/2018 12:49:49 PM PDT by MayflowerMadam (Have an A-1 day.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Simon Green
The woman is mentally ill, has impaired judgment and impulse control. In addition to being childishly selfish.
107 posted on 07/31/2018 1:07:03 PM PDT by hinckley buzzard
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Diana in Wisconsin

Lola should simply sell the child then she can use the money to help her attain some remnant of the “life she could have had.” That would seem to fit right in to the liberal view of things.


108 posted on 07/31/2018 1:08:39 PM PDT by arthurus (o.o',)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: PCPOET7
no it just that it is what was meant to happen....I am 52 and never married my biggest regret is no wife and kids...as far as I am concerned having a meaningful family life is a lot better then having that meaningful career one pales in comparison to the other.

To each their own. I'm 56, never married, no kids, no regrets. I enjoy my life.

109 posted on 07/31/2018 1:09:44 PM PDT by Simon Green ("Arm your daughter, sir, and pay no attention to petty bureaucrats.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 103 | View Replies]

To: Simon Green

Atheist Jewish girl ambivalently married in NYC with a special need child wishing she was somebody cool and famous living in her Choos and Céline bags

Well you are somebody to that child lady....maybe all he’s got

You selfish bitch


110 posted on 07/31/2018 1:17:42 PM PDT by wardaddy (Hanged not hung.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: rollo tomasi

I had to be single dad earlier in my life alone with two daughters and later days last year

Man..my hats off to ya

Between cleaning house and cooking and two loads of laundry daily and working 24/7 self employed

I went from six five 250 to six five 215

That was the good part

I went to bed tired and slept good

I never even think about it

Five kids and almost two grandkids and two older relatives I care or cared for

It’s just becomes nature

Unless at the beach I roll over in the morning knowing yep it’s daylight and bills to pay

God bless u


111 posted on 07/31/2018 1:40:44 PM PDT by wardaddy (Hanged not hung.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 53 | View Replies]

To: Simon Green
I'd trade her in a heartbeat, gladly. But some of us aren't blessed with having kids of our own.

Selfish witch.

112 posted on 07/31/2018 1:43:54 PM PDT by Maigrey (Life, for a liberal, is one never-ending game of Calvinball. - Giotto)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Yaelle
Drew. I love you. But I want to slap you. Did you hear what you said? You and your wife were BLESSED with healthy children??

Sorry if I caused offense. It wasn't my intention to imply that parents of children who might have special needs are also not blessed. I'm not going to speak for these parents because I can't.

I should have chosen my words more carefully.

113 posted on 07/31/2018 2:20:48 PM PDT by Drew68
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 59 | View Replies]

To: Simon Green
Make sure you tell your son every day that you didn't want him. Get him used to it since the whole world knows it now and they will remind him, especially his peers. "Your mom didn't want you. She didn't want to be your mother."

Maybe you'll make him feel so unwanted that he will kill himself and you will be free at last! In fact, maybe you could suggest it every once in a while.

I wonder how your mother felt about motherhood?

114 posted on 07/31/2018 3:05:29 PM PDT by Right Wing Assault ('Kill'-google,TWITR,FACEBK,WaPo,Hollywd,CNN,NFL,BLM,CAIR,Antifa,SPLC,ESPN,NPR,NBA)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Simon Green

This is one seriously selfish individual!


115 posted on 07/31/2018 3:50:04 PM PDT by maxwellsmart_agent (.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Drew68

That is ok. Still love you and your great posts. I remember a time when I too would say “as long as he’s healthy” when I was pregnant. It should go without saying that of course, we all prefer health to any lack of it. But life “in Holland” rather than Italy is also blessed. (An old analogy for parents discovering their child has disabilities. They planned on “a trip to Italy” and now find out they are going to Holland instead. Maybe the boy with no sight won’t be a race car driver.... but he might be XYZ instead which is just as wonderful.)


116 posted on 07/31/2018 5:23:14 PM PDT by Yaelle
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 113 | View Replies]

To: Drew68

My son has autism. It’s a hard road. Every parent wants to experience pride and joy in what their kids do, but there’s very little of that for me. I not even allowed to hug him. I sincerely hope can live independently when he’s a grown man. If not, I may drink myself to death.


117 posted on 07/31/2018 6:18:20 PM PDT by Scarpetta (The election of Donald Trump is proof God loves us and wants us to be happy.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: Moonman62

Autism is a difficult diagnosis.

up to about 30 years ago these kids were institutionalized. For their sake and the sakes of the families.

Now we institutionalize them in group homes, after the families have suffered, been torn apart and have had the stuffing tossed out of them.

I know of three parents who have murdered their autistic child then suicided. Because I am not talking about someone with some disabilities, I am talking about children who put holes in the plasterboard, daily, who chew off their fingers, poke out their eyes, and yell and scream.

Certainly not all of them, but there are levels of enormous difficulties. Patent essentially turn the kids room into a cell.

Tragic for they love their kids deeply, but get nothing back.

Good that she is venting. Perhaps the child will qualify for a group home someday.


118 posted on 07/31/2018 6:39:52 PM PDT by Chickensoup (Leftists today are speaking as if they plan to commence to commit genocide against conservatives.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 39 | View Replies]

To: Simon Green

She doesn’t know what it means to really love him. Maybe some day she will find out what love is. It isn’t merely putting up with him. Without him her heart would be so much, much colder even than it is. She can thank God he is in her life. Nothing is worth love, nothing.

[Song of Solomon 8:6-8 KJV] 6 Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love [is] strong as death; jealousy [is] cruel as the grave: the coals thereof [are] coals of fire, [which hath a] most vehement flame. 7 Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if [a] man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.


119 posted on 08/01/2018 1:24:16 AM PDT by Bellflower (Who dares believe Jesus? He says absolutely amazing things, which few dare consider.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 41-6061-8081-100101-119 last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson