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Senior Smiles
email from a friend | 7/11/2018 | unknown

Posted on 07/11/2018 4:24:01 AM PDT by sodpoodle

A senior couple returned to a Corvette dealership where the salesman has just sold the car they had been interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde in a mini skirt and a halter top.

The old man was visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman sharply, "Young man, I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $85,000 asking price. Yet I just overheard you closed the deal for $72,000 to the lovely young lady there. And if I remember right, you had insisted there was no way you could discount this model."

The salesman took a deep breath, cleared his throat and reached for a large glass of water. "Well, what can I tell you? She had the cash ready, didn't need any financing help, and, Sir, just look at her, how could I resist?" replied the grinning salesman sheepishly.

Just then the young woman approached the senior couple and gave the car keys to the old man.

"There you go," she said. "I told you I could get that idiot to lower the price. See you later Dad, Happy Father's day."


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: haha; jokes
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more giggles on the way;)
1 posted on 07/11/2018 4:24:02 AM PDT by sodpoodle
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To: sodpoodle

Thanks,I needed that.


2 posted on 07/11/2018 4:29:37 AM PDT by HighSierra5
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To: sodpoodle

3 posted on 07/11/2018 4:30:39 AM PDT by CopperTop (Outside the wire it's just us chickens. Dig?)
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A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new 2017 BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust The driver, a young man named Cliff in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Apple iPhone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple iPad® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Galaxy S5® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 animals."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" "You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know sh*t about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep” “Now give me back my dog.” AND THAT FOLKS IS WHAT THE PROBLEM IS

4 posted on 07/11/2018 4:31:16 AM PDT by sodpoodle (Life is prickly - carry tweezers)
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To: sodpoodle

Luv ya Sod....Sac


5 posted on 07/11/2018 4:37:44 AM PDT by Sacajaweau
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To: sodpoodle

Well, I’ll know where that story came from when I get stuck behind a Corvette going 50 miles per hour on the Interstate.


6 posted on 07/11/2018 4:38:30 AM PDT by Dr. Sivana (There is no salvation in politics.)
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To: Sacajaweau

It’s mutual Sac:)


7 posted on 07/11/2018 4:40:55 AM PDT by sodpoodle (Life is prickly - carry tweezers)
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To: Dr. Sivana

Just be sure to wave when you pass it;)


8 posted on 07/11/2018 4:47:07 AM PDT by sodpoodle (Life is prickly - carry tweezers)
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To: sodpoodle

Oh, so appropriate. Good post.


9 posted on 07/11/2018 5:12:10 AM PDT by GoldenPup
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To: sodpoodle
Today is Convenience Store Day - 7/11.

10 posted on 07/11/2018 5:17:07 AM PDT by BitWielder1 (I'd rather have Unequal Wealth than Equal Poverty.)
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To: CopperTop

Bttt


11 posted on 07/11/2018 5:19:19 AM PDT by novemberslady
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To: Dr. Sivana
I’ll know where that story came from when I get stuck behind a Corvette going 50 miles per hour on the Interstate

Isn't that the truth?

It's like owners of fast cars know they're getting extra scrutiny by the cops, they always drive well under the speed limit, clogging up the highway... and often they're left lane bandits to boot.

I get behind them in my truck wanting to run 10% over the limit, and they just sit there.

Those cars ought to be outlawed anyway. What does anyone need with a vehicle that can go 120 MPH? No one needs 800 HP to go to the grocery store. They ought to be banned!

12 posted on 07/11/2018 5:21:58 AM PDT by grobdriver (BUILD KATE'S WALL!)
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To: grobdriver
No one needs 800 HP to go to the grocery store. They ought to be banned!

You are right. You don't see too many of these things in Guatemala, and they have .1% the fatalities we do.
13 posted on 07/11/2018 5:26:40 AM PDT by Dr. Sivana (There is no salvation in politics.)
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To: sodpoodle

14 posted on 07/11/2018 5:31:14 AM PDT by DoodleBob
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To: sodpoodle

This one is better lol than the original article/smile.


15 posted on 07/11/2018 5:34:13 AM PDT by Sir Napsalot (Pravda + Useful Idiots = USSR; Journ0List + Useful Idiots = DopeyChangey)
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To: Dr. Sivana

It is supposed to be a free country. if I want 1200 hp to “go to the grocery store”...so what? Snowflake Weenies always want to take away the fun of life. Screw’em!


16 posted on 07/11/2018 5:37:47 AM PDT by hal ogen (First Amendment or Reeducation Camp?)
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To: DoodleBob
Why? It's perfectly good advice.

17 posted on 07/11/2018 5:49:12 AM PDT by BitWielder1 (I'd rather have Unequal Wealth than Equal Poverty.)
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To: grobdriver

“Those cars ought to be outlawed anyway. What does anyone need with a vehicle that can go 120 MPH? No one needs 800 HP to go to the grocery store. They ought to be banned!”

How about 200+MPH on public roads:

10TH ANNUAL SUN VALLEY ROAD RALLY, SATURDAY JULY 21, 2018

http://thedrugcoalition.org/sun-valley-road-rally/

It is, by the way, a free country. If I want a 1,200 HP automobile it’s none of YOUR friggin’ business!

You come off like Andrew Cuomo...


18 posted on 07/11/2018 6:00:53 AM PDT by BBB333 (The Power Of Trump Compels You!)
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To: BBB333
If I want a 1,200 HP automobile it’s none of YOUR friggin’ business!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahaha!!!

Now you're talking!.

My post was laced with a heavy dose of sarcasm, my standard response to gun grabbers who want to ban standard size magazines. I just took the opportunity to include my preferred comparison; fast cars.
I shoot. A lot.

19 posted on 07/11/2018 6:16:54 AM PDT by grobdriver (BUILD KATE'S WALL!)
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To: grobdriver

I drive a Mustang Mach1 and it never goes under the speed limit.


20 posted on 07/11/2018 6:32:33 AM PDT by certrtwngnut (4- Do something,,,,even if it's wrong.)
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