Komodo Dragons
Posted on 10/13/2017 6:52:22 AM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—As the partial government shutdown grinds on into its twelfth day, Americans remain deeply divided over what kind of wild animal they would most like to see Congress mauled by, according to a new poll released today.
While a majority of Americans say they would enjoy seeing Congress torn limb from limb by a ferocious bear, there is disagreement over which species of bear would be best suited for that assignment.
When asked, “What kind of bear would do the best job of savaging Congress with its fearsome paws?,” Americans gave grizzly bears the highest job-approval rating, followed by polar bears, and by black bears in a distant third.
But the poll showed that there was also strong support for the idea of Congress being set upon by a pack of rapacious animals, with rabid hyenas the first choice of many respondents, followed by feral dogs and cats.
While insatiable, bloodthirsty mammals were most often cited as the animals Americans would like to see eviscerate Congress, there was significant support for another scenario, involving Congress being consumed by a swarm of predatory insects.
Fifteen per cent of those surveyed “strongly agreed” with the statement, “Being torn limb from limb by a grizzly bear or devoured by a pack of rabid hyenas is too good for these people. They should be eaten, very slowly, by a colony of hungry fire ants. Yes, that’s it—fire ants. That would be amazing.”
Fire ants.
The barrel-roll from a crocodile would be a hoot.
No messy animal mauling. Just a rod from God. Let kinetic energy do the job.
I cannot respond to your question out of fear of:
1. Being subject of a no-knock raid by the FBI on my door;
2. A visit from the Secret Service;
3. Banishment from FR.
Let me just say that I asked that same question after 9-11 whether or not anyone would be upset if both houses of Congress were taken out instead of the Twin Towers.
I’m thinking rabid Tasmanian Devils to be placed in the trousers of all members
A rabies-infected chupacabra.
This one!
I pick Harvey Weinstein.
Don’t forget “The Crazy Nasty@ss Honey Badger”, perhaps the toughest animal on earth. 50 percent of the honey badger’s diet consists of cobras. There’s a great Youtube video on the Honeybadger, it’s gotten more than 80 million views.
Kind of funny, actually, as “Congress” is doing its best to support Big Media anti-American initiatives.
When the Fraud reigned, Big Media would always publish his 40’s approval rating and then Congress’ 17% approval rating (much lower).
They must feel conflicted. I never see those published anymore.
Feral Hogs.
Hyenas eat you before they kill you. Just sayin...
October 12, 2013
Hildebeeste wouldn't eat congressmen ...
Priceless!
Godzilla (Godzirra?) would be my choice......
:-)
I wanna see chickens maul them. It would be ironic to see chickens attacking chickens.
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