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Need Marine Jokes
me | 12/13/16 | lafroste

Posted on 12/13/2016 7:22:43 PM PST by lafroste

OK, my son is at Parris Island right now and as of today has one month to graduation. He is hanging tough. But he wrote me and asked for more letters, more news. My fingers are about worn out sending and writing stuff. He likes Marine jokes and I sent him a few but I am running out of ideas. I would like you guys to submit Marine positive humor that I can send him to encourage both him and the other men in his platoon. We need to encourage these guys. Jokes are welcome. Letters are welcome. Help me support our newest Marines. They already deserve it!


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: gunny; marines; military; usmc
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1 posted on 12/13/2016 7:22:43 PM PST by lafroste
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To: lafroste

He will be more popular is he tells jokes about the Navy.


2 posted on 12/13/2016 7:24:00 PM PST by Darteaus94025 (Can't have a Liberal without a Lie)
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To: Darteaus94025

LOL. Those work too!


3 posted on 12/13/2016 7:25:04 PM PST by lafroste (Look at my profile page. Thanks.)
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To: lafroste
A man's son comes home for his first leave after Marine boot camp. The man's neighbor asks, "So, did your son learn anything in the Marines?"

The man thinks for a moment, then says, "Well, he learned what 'now' means."

4 posted on 12/13/2016 7:26:35 PM PST by T Ruth (Mohammedanism shall be defeated.)
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To: lafroste

So these two Marines...

POW...WHAP...SMACK...THUMP...

(bending over to pick up teeth)

...nevermind.


5 posted on 12/13/2016 7:26:38 PM PST by Jhadur ("You will fall on one another like wolves.")
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To: lafroste

Can’t help you, only Marine jokes I know are not positive

I was Army you see. :)

Tell him to hang tough!


6 posted on 12/13/2016 7:26:42 PM PST by txnativegop (Nothing sarcastic comes to mind. Well it does, but I'll be nice and not say it.)
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To: lafroste
One of the guys in my class is ex-Navy, Ohio class submarine. He said to another classmate, a no-longer-on-active-duty Marine, and I quote "The only good Marine is a submarine."

I guess the Navy and the Marines have some kind of feud going, or something.

7 posted on 12/13/2016 7:26:48 PM PST by sima_yi ( Reporting live from the far North)
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To: sima_yi

ungh


8 posted on 12/13/2016 7:30:35 PM PST by muleskinner
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To: lafroste
From some Army friends:
 photo marines exam_zpsr225vjv0.jpg
9 posted on 12/13/2016 7:31:31 PM PST by silverleaf (Age takes a toll: Please have exact change)
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To: lafroste

My son went through PI years ago.

I sent him “The Far Side” collection,which was popular then.

He loved them,as did the rest of the guys.

.


10 posted on 12/13/2016 7:32:06 PM PST by Mears
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To: lafroste

Q. How many Marines does it take to screw in a light bulb.

A. Marines don’t screw in light bulbs ...


11 posted on 12/13/2016 7:34:23 PM PST by smokingfrog ( sleep with one eye open (<o> ---)
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To: lafroste

I’m Navy. I served with some Marines during the period 3/67 thru 12/70. I can joust with Marines all day long, but I have only respect for them. I think they also respect us, the squids.


12 posted on 12/13/2016 7:34:24 PM PST by Rembrandt (Part of the 51% who pay Federal taxes)
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To: lafroste
The CO of a Marine regiment in the U. S. Marine Corps was about to start the morning briefing.

While waiting for the coffee to finish brewing, he decided to pose a question to his staff.

He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.

He posed the question as follows: "Just how much of sex is 'work' and how much of it is 'pleasure'?"

The XO chimed in with 75-25% in favor of work.

A Captain said it was 50-50%.

The CO's Aide, a 1Lt., responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure, depending on his state of inebriation at the time.

There being no consensus, the CO turned to the LCpl who was in charge of setting out the morning's paperwork and making the coffee.

"What's YOUR opinion, son?"

With out hesitation, the LCpl responded, "Sir, it absolutely has to be 100% pleasure."

Surprised, the CO asked, "Why??"

"Well, Sir", replied the LCpl, "If there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."

13 posted on 12/13/2016 7:35:15 PM PST by Eric Pode of Croydon
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To: lafroste
God Bless your Son!

As an Army vet my only encouragement would be to tell your boy that I also wanted to be a Marine but they found out my IQ was too high so they sent me into the Army. :-)

(Heh-Heh, all in good fun)

14 posted on 12/13/2016 7:35:30 PM PST by PROCON (Onto the Great American Rebirth!)
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To: lafroste

https://www.google.com/#q=marine+air+force+meme

Try this.


15 posted on 12/13/2016 7:35:37 PM PST by Jet Jaguar
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To: Rembrandt

Thank you for the ships, the chow, the really big guns, and most of all for the Corpsmen.

Semper Fi.

L


16 posted on 12/13/2016 7:36:09 PM PST by Lurker (America burned the witch.)
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To: lafroste
A sailor in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and asks, “hey, do you want to hear a Marine joke?” The guy responds, “well, before you tell that, you should know that I’m 6′ tall, 200 pounds, and I’m a Marine. The guy sitting next to me is 6′ 2″, weighs 250, and he’s also a Marine.”

“Now, you still wanna tell that joke?”

The sailor says, “Nah, I don’t want to have to explain it three times.”

17 posted on 12/13/2016 7:37:26 PM PST by smokingfrog ( sleep with one eye open (<o> ---)
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To: lafroste

18 posted on 12/13/2016 7:37:38 PM PST by Future Snake Eater (CrossFit.com)
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To: lafroste; ASA Vet
There is a big difference between Military Intelligence and Naval Intelligence.

Military Intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Naval Intelligence is redundant.

"Ceterum censeo Islam esse delendam."

Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)

LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)

19 posted on 12/13/2016 7:37:47 PM PST by LonePalm (Commander and Chef)
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To: lafroste

A Marine and a Sailor are making a head call. The Marine zips up and heads for the hatch. The Sailor calls out “Hey Marine! In the Navy they taught us to wash our hands after we pee.”

The Marine replies “They taught us not to pee on our hands.”

Semper Fi.

L


20 posted on 12/13/2016 7:38:04 PM PST by Lurker (America burned the witch.)
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