Posted on 12/13/2016 7:22:43 PM PST by lafroste
OK, my son is at Parris Island right now and as of today has one month to graduation. He is hanging tough. But he wrote me and asked for more letters, more news. My fingers are about worn out sending and writing stuff. He likes Marine jokes and I sent him a few but I am running out of ideas. I would like you guys to submit Marine positive humor that I can send him to encourage both him and the other men in his platoon. We need to encourage these guys. Jokes are welcome. Letters are welcome. Help me support our newest Marines. They already deserve it!
A kid is waiting in a train station with his mother when he sees a Navy sailor. “Wow! Are you a real sailor?”, the kid says.
The sailor answers, “Yes I am. Do you want to wear my hat?”
The kid says, “Oh boy! Can I really?”
So the sailor lets him wear his hat. The kid's running around saluting everyone until he sees a Marine.
The kid runs up to the Marine and says, “Wow! Are you a real Marine?”
The Marine is a little annoyed after all of his traveling and answers, “Yes I am. Do you want to suck my d!ck?”
The kid replies, “Hey I'm not a real sailor, I'm just wearing the hat.”
Before I get flamed, my father, who I loved more than I can say, was a sailor during World War 2. He loved that joke.
Think your boy would prefer jokes taking the piss out of the other branches like Army , and Navy
How do you knock a Marine out? Throw sand on a wall and tell him to hit the beach.
Marines call the USMC the Men’s Department of the US Navy.
An Army officer told me that it is not a battle, or a real war until the Marines turn up.
I hope Freepers have an inaugural ball in Washington DC that he and I can attend. Trump's inauguration is right in the middle of his leave.
” “I would rather have a good Marine, even a ruined one, than anything in the world when there are chips down.””
Agreed. They may be dumb but they’re brave about it. 8>)
John Glen
Yes he gets 10 days, and then heads to Camp Geiger in NC. 30 miles north of Wilmington, or just outside Jacksonville NC, next to Camp Lejeune.
Trust me you will love the days of family day, and graduation. You will see him on the run, but make sure you get there early to get a decent parking spot. Beaufort SC has good hotels, and we stayed in a decent one for a decent price, but if you like I can tell you that privately.
My son is going through his MOS, which is his trade.
MCT is only 30 days about, but the short graduation is about 30 mins and then they leave for their MOS, so if they have to go to the airport then go, as we did in order to spend more time with him.
His electronics school is his MOS training, where is that if you do not mind me asking.
As for DC, well one of those days is driving back to NC for MCT
It only happened to us this year all of this, and he was straight from high school in the summer.
I saw your profile and you are in NC which is great for you.
Thanks now I gotta hunt that movie down on Netflix gotta see it again
In Heaven, God is looking down and thinking of an experiment. "Hmmmm," He wonders, "what would happen if I took out a quarter of his brain?" God waves His hand, and the fisherman loses 1/4 of his brain.
"Row...boat...stream..." he sings.
The Lord thinks, "wow...that's pretty interesting. What would happen if I took out half his brain?" He waves His hand, and it's done.
The fisherman now has only half a brain left, and he sings, "Row...stream..."
"How interesting," says God. "What would happen if I took out all his brain?" He waved His hand and it was so.
The fisherman sang, "From the Halls of Montezuma, to the Shores of Tripoli..."
Scouts Out! Cavalry Ho! God Bless Texas!
more marine jokes than you can shake a jelly fish at
Why don’t oysters give to charity?… Because they’re shellfish
Why did the lobster blush?… Because the sea weed
What does a mermaid wear to maths lessons?… An algae-bra
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?… The prawn broker
What is a cetacean’s favourite TV show?… Whale of fortune
What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean?… Nothing, it just waved
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?… Licence to Krill
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?… Show me your mussels
Where does seaweed look for a job?… In the ‘Kelp-wanted’ ads
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?… It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?… A nervous wreck
A salmon walks into a vegetarian restaurant and the waiter says, “Sorry, we don’t serve fish.”
What did one flat-fish parasite say to the other at the end of their date?… “Your plaice or mine?”
How can you amplify a pirate’s DNA?… PC Arghhh
What did the beach say to the wave?… “Long tide, no sea.”
What does seaweed say when it’s stuck at the bottom of the sea?… “Kelp! Kelp!”
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?… Drop it a line!
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?… Because they spend years at C!
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?… Because one good tern always deserves another
Where do you calulate the mass of a cetacean?… At a Whale-Weigh Station
Why had the two algae never had sex?… Because they had a planktonic relationship
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?…The Codfather
What happened to the shark that swallowed a bunch of keys?…It got lockjaw
What did the shark plead in the murder case?…Not gill-ty.
Algae A (to Algae B): “How are things?”Algae B: “Good thanks; business is blooming”
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?…Because she grew out of her B-shells
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?… Pier pressure
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?… All the sailors were marooned
Why did the algae and the fungus get married?… They took a lichen to each other (although, unfortunately, their marriage is now on the rocks)
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?… Because they dropped out of school
Where does a killer whale go for braces?… The orca-dontist
Why did the seawater keep walking around in circles?… Because it was gyred
I used to fix copy machines at Caml Geiger. Back in the Stone Age.
Love it
They aint dumb at all.
Adapt, improvise, overcome.
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