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+ vanity + EPA warning of ecological damage to waterways
my sick mind | 11/11/2016 | My self

Posted on 11/11/2016 1:37:24 PM PST by pa_dweller

The EPA today issued a statement that major ecosystem damage is imminent along the nation’s streams and rivers due to increased salinity.

Paul E. Wogg, of the agency’s office in Palmdale, California, noted that salinity levels in the metro Los Angeles region began to rise steeply the morning of November ninth. After eliminating normal causes of stream pollution, such as high tides, sharknadoes, and salt truck crashes, the source has been traced the sudden influx of sodium chloride in solution into the storm drainage systems in the area early Wednesday morning. Preliminary analysis of the pollutant indicates that it is comprised of human tears. Wogg believes the only plausible source is the uncontrolled weeping and sobbing of tens of thousands of people following the presidential election results Tuesday night.

Wogg reports that a temporary rise will have the limited effect of killing certain small species of fish and invertebrates but, that if the current levels are sustained over a period of months, the native riparian flora and fauna could suffer serious harm since they are not adapted to a salty environment. If maintained over a long enough period it is even possible that saltwater grasses and sea turtles may begin to invade and occupy this new territory.

Extrapolating his observations to the entire nation, Wogg believes a major crisis is at hand, especially for large urban centers. Wogg offer that the public could assist in providing a quick, ecologically sound, and inexpensive solution to the impending disaster. “If the butthurt population would just get over it, if folks will just pick each other up and get back to work it would help a lot”, he stated.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: bhoepa

1 posted on 11/11/2016 1:37:24 PM PST by pa_dweller
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To: pa_dweller

lol so hard I’m crying here adding to the disaster!


2 posted on 11/11/2016 1:43:09 PM PST by reed13k
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To: pa_dweller

Why do you not have any personal comment about the article you felt impelled to post?


3 posted on 11/11/2016 1:45:54 PM PST by Gaffer
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To: pa_dweller

Actually the real threat is all the birth control hormones going into the water supply.


4 posted on 11/11/2016 1:45:58 PM PST by kaehurowing
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To: Gaffer

Compelled to post.....


5 posted on 11/11/2016 1:46:17 PM PST by Gaffer
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To: pa_dweller

Snowflake meltdown alert!


6 posted on 11/11/2016 1:46:44 PM PST by FES0844 (Gv)
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To: Gaffer

Funniest thing I have read in the sardonic realm lately!!

Nicely, nicely done!!


7 posted on 11/11/2016 1:48:23 PM PST by Bodega (elective, therapeutic abortion sequelae)
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To: reed13k

Easy to fix, just ban salt in California.


8 posted on 11/11/2016 1:49:36 PM PST by MCRD
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To: pa_dweller

Good one! :)


9 posted on 11/11/2016 1:51:56 PM PST by upchuck (Obama once thought that he belonged to the ages. Now he belongs in the rubbish bin. h/t D.Greenfield)
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To: Gaffer

Author forgot to add the /sarc tag.

It’s a joke - and funny.


10 posted on 11/11/2016 1:52:58 PM PST by Quality_Not_Quantity
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To: pa_dweller

If the drainage basin of a river experiences less rainfall, the lesser outflow will allow the saline layer along the river bottom, to reach farther inland.

Subsidence of silt deposits coupled with lower silt deposition exasperates this salt water intrusion. Communities from New Orleans to the river’s outlet experience this phenomena.


11 posted on 11/11/2016 1:57:28 PM PST by Ozark Tom
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To: Bodega

Thanks!


12 posted on 11/11/2016 2:06:30 PM PST by pa_dweller (Trump 290, Clinton 232 - The vote heard 'round the world.)
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To: pa_dweller
Warning: Media and globalist tears cause severe flooding!

President Trump has pledged to divert some of his swamp-draining tools towards the affected areas to help drain these oceans of tears.


13 posted on 11/11/2016 2:17:17 PM PST by snarkpup (Hillary gets flak because she's being exposed; Trump gets flak because he's over the target.)
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To: Gaffer

Composted to impart....


14 posted on 11/11/2016 2:39:53 PM PST by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: pa_dweller

LOL


15 posted on 11/11/2016 2:42:34 PM PST by dynachrome (When an empire dies, you are left with vast monuments in front of which peasants squat to defecate)
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To: pa_dweller

What is the EPA going to dump in the water now?


16 posted on 11/11/2016 2:54:47 PM PST by DannyTN
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To: pa_dweller

Please place every single epa employee in public stocks where we can all pelt them with rotton veggies and fruit and an occational pile of poop.
Mookabookers they are.


17 posted on 11/11/2016 4:22:28 PM PST by Joe Boucher (Her ass belongs in prison.)
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To: snarkpup

LOL! I hadn’t seen that one.


18 posted on 11/11/2016 5:16:33 PM PST by pa_dweller (Trump 290, Clinton 232 - The vote heard 'round the world.)
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To: DannyTN
What is the EPA going to dump in the water now?

Feds Poison A River With Lead And Arsenic, Still Won’t Protect Locals

19 posted on 11/11/2016 5:34:48 PM PST by snarkpup (Hillary gets flak because she's being exposed; Trump gets flak because he's over the target.)
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