Skip to comments.+ vanity + EPA warning of ecological damage to waterways
Posted on 11/11/2016 1:37:24 PM PST by pa_dweller
The EPA today issued a statement that major ecosystem damage is imminent along the nations streams and rivers due to increased salinity.
Paul E. Wogg, of the agencys office in Palmdale, California, noted that salinity levels in the metro Los Angeles region began to rise steeply the morning of November ninth. After eliminating normal causes of stream pollution, such as high tides, sharknadoes, and salt truck crashes, the source has been traced the sudden influx of sodium chloride in solution into the storm drainage systems in the area early Wednesday morning. Preliminary analysis of the pollutant indicates that it is comprised of human tears. Wogg believes the only plausible source is the uncontrolled weeping and sobbing of tens of thousands of people following the presidential election results Tuesday night.
Wogg reports that a temporary rise will have the limited effect of killing certain small species of fish and invertebrates but, that if the current levels are sustained over a period of months, the native riparian flora and fauna could suffer serious harm since they are not adapted to a salty environment. If maintained over a long enough period it is even possible that saltwater grasses and sea turtles may begin to invade and occupy this new territory.
Extrapolating his observations to the entire nation, Wogg believes a major crisis is at hand, especially for large urban centers. Wogg offer that the public could assist in providing a quick, ecologically sound, and inexpensive solution to the impending disaster. If the butthurt population would just get over it, if folks will just pick each other up and get back to work it would help a lot, he stated.
lol so hard I’m crying here adding to the disaster!
Why do you not have any personal comment about the article you felt impelled to post?
Actually the real threat is all the birth control hormones going into the water supply.
Compelled to post.....
Snowflake meltdown alert!
Funniest thing I have read in the sardonic realm lately!!
Nicely, nicely done!!
Easy to fix, just ban salt in California.
Good one! :)
Author forgot to add the /sarc tag.
It’s a joke - and funny.
If the drainage basin of a river experiences less rainfall, the lesser outflow will allow the saline layer along the river bottom, to reach farther inland.
Subsidence of silt deposits coupled with lower silt deposition exasperates this salt water intrusion. Communities from New Orleans to the river’s outlet experience this phenomena.
President Trump has pledged to divert some of his swamp-draining tools towards the affected areas to help drain these oceans of tears.
Composted to impart....
What is the EPA going to dump in the water now?
Please place every single epa employee in public stocks where we can all pelt them with rotton veggies and fruit and an occational pile of poop.
Mookabookers they are.
LOL! I hadn’t seen that one.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.