Posted on 05/28/2016 6:15:02 PM PDT by blueunicorn6
It was just here. I was using it a couple of days ago to dig a fighting position, and now it's gone.
It was probably them darn thieving squirrels who stole it again. They use it to bury walnuts. Thieving squirrels. Can't get a job like everyone else. Just steal, steal, steal. I chopped down a tree that had some kind of squirrel condo in it and you know what I found? A 1966 Ford Mustang. A convertible. What the heck does a squirrel do with a convertible? Drive in parades with the town beauty queen? And they always want a red car. The squirrels I mean. The beauty queens want a mansion with six bathrooms and a home gym on beachfront property. Probably cheaper to marry a squirrel.
I've had that shovel for forever. It has a wood handle. Gave me a splinter once that was like a foot long. The splinter was so big you could use it to kill a vampire by driving it through his heart. I don't know how it got a steering wheel to drive it, but there you are. My Dad gave me that shovel. I think he got it from his Dad. It was a, what do you call them, hairloom? I think Grandpa used it to dig a mine. He had a cat mine. Dug up some of the best Persians you ever saw. He thought he hit a vein of Norwegian Forest cats one time, but it turned out to just be some low grade alley cat ore.
Now I'll have to go to one of those "Big Box Hardware Stores" and see about getting another shovel. I'll ask the guy with the vest where the shovels are and he'll send me over to the toilet aisle. Do you know they have toilets with stereos in them? I swear! Stereos. I wonder what the best music is for that? Prelude And Flush In B Flat? I wonder what other accessories you can get? Maybe one of those emergency stop camera systems. Turn the camera on in a bathroom and just about everyone will stop.Did you see about the guy in Thailand who was going to the bathroom and a snake bit him on his, ummmm, "private parts". Every guy around the world who read that story grimaced and said, "Youch!" That's why you should always have a mongoose in your bathroom. They also come in handy if you run out of toilet paper. Makes em mean though. But I prefer an angry mongoose over a laid-back one when it comes to fighting with snakes that want to bite your ding dong.
Wait a minute. I remember now. The neighbor borrowed my shovel. I think he's looking for his Mustang convertible. Filthy, stinking kleptomaniac squirrels. I thought they liked Camaros. Now, where's my electric paintbrush?
I hate squirrels, they extort peanuts from me by threatening to chew holes in my truck tires. I’m conspiring with the birds for air support tomorrow in squirrel D day.
I already love it.
Couldn’t find mine either
Was out working in garden. Left door open so dogs could come and go as they choose. Came back in to get more seeds and there was a four foot snake starting to enter the house. Stopped him and I ran for the shovel By the time I got back with the hoe (no shovel. )He was gone. Now where is the snake? Inside or out? And where did I leave the shovel? Really need to find it so I can sleep with it tonight.
They need to make them red so you can always find them
I cant find my beer. Put it on the deck just as I started the mower.
Snakes or shovels?
Did you try plugging it in?
Never lost anything to a squirrel so I’m not much help. I did lose a pick handle to an angry porcupine once. When you have a problem with those then I can be of more assistance.
I did have a least weasel in the house once. When he stopped, I think he smiled at me before he took off again. I wish I knew what he was smiling about.
Yes I want to know too.
they stole fifty pounds of cracked corn from me a few weeks ago (in one night).
Bump for later :)
They play chicken with cars on the highways and roads of America also.
lol bump deep worry
Can you ask the squirrel if it has seen OKC offense? It is missing in the 4th quarter against GSW game 6.
Dude. You blind? It's right over there. (points to shovel)
"I got your shovel right here!"
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