Posted on 12/11/2015 4:52:42 AM PST by Lucky9teen
1.This elf who's clearly had too much to drink.
2.This elf who won't hesitate to murder some Barbie dolls.
3.This elf who watched Silence of the Lambs one too many times.
4.This elf who quit gift-making to become a ladies' man.
5.This elf who's feeling a bit devious.
6.This elf who didn't think twice before he put his you know what in a box.
7.This narcissistic elf.
8.This elf who wants to make angels.
9.This elf who has taken the game of tag too far.
10.This elf who has an addiction problem.
11.This elf who's enjoying his white privilege.
12.This elf who likes a good office prank.
I wonder exactly how long it took to come up with the concept of time.
People are always sending me letters telling me that I shouldn’t believe everything I read.
I would probably play sports and might even be good at them if they had games where nobody loses and you didn’t have to do much of anything.
Whenever I’m bored I usually try to find something constructive I can do. Then I lay back on the couch and try to figure out some way that I can trick someone into doing it for me.
I thought maybe I should come up with some original ideas but then I thought, look at how many people have already done that.
I think I can stop time. The only problem is I don’t know for how long.
I think all people who pass judgment on others based on one thing and one thing only are morons.
The problem with the world is that a problem isn’t a problem until it’s a problem.
We finally made a decision at a meeting yesterday to stop rethinking decisions once they’re made.
This morning the CIO said he’s rethinking that decision.
And I wonder why I can never get anything done around here.
Why is it always someone else’s responsibility to hold somebody responsible for their own actions.
The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.
Only, I forgot what the main thing is.
One time I enrolled in a self help group to stop gambling even though I knew their success rate was only 1 in 6. Oh well, I just felt lucky.
THAT'S SILLY!!
A large portion of all of our lives is spent trying to make others see things as uniquely as we do - or at least, that’s the way I see it.
Apparently, getting people to go out and vote is no basis for government, either.
I thought it was, once, but 2008 and 2012 proved me wrong.
I lump all people who stereotype into one group and I call them the “stereotypical people.” I hope one day they will understand unity in diversity, whatever that means.
Looks like my ship has finally come in. Some nice man in Ghana is going to send me several million dollars simply because I have the same last name as some guy who died recently leaving no next of kin.
I just have to wait for the transaction to go through to my bank.
And just when I was starting to think there was no more human decency in the world.
Recycled silliness...
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/3370969/posts
(and shemeless self-promotion)
I had to call my bank’s on-line help number. My account is showing a $0.00 balance for some reason. I was checking to see if the millions from Ghana had come in yet.
Hopefully they’ll call me back soon and tell me the problem with their Web software has been resolved.
A fun trick to play on children when your at a swimming pool is to tell them that the stripes at the bottom of the pool smell like peppermint.
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