Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Isn’t he sweet? I could nap with him!
I’m partial to marmalades. But I’ll never be able to have a kitteh again, because of my lungs. *sigh*
There has just been too much damage to them over the years. Pertussis as a toddler, asthma as a teen, 20 years of smoking (gack) Valley Fever, collapsed lung in a car accident, and bronchitis. Yep. My lungs have been insulted.
And I SO want a kitteh!
I was going to go to Walmart and get ink but I think I’ll wait until after I do the laundry. It should only take me 40 minutes today, and I will hang the clothes when I get home.
Off for a walk.
Well. Had the walk and found the laundry room open, so I washed the clothes, then went to Wally’s for ink.
Now I will hang the clothes and then write to my grandson!
And at that point, the rest of the day is mine!
No never that way. That way would take you straight to the castle...
Mmmmmmm, Essence of Gelfling I sense !
: )
Gosh ....
Welcome back, Stranger! :o])
When this “thing” came back from Dell, it had an administrator’s “lock” on it so that I couldn’t get on the ‘net.
I don’t know how to bypass that, or, more correctly, eliminate that completely. It is now messing with my Toshiba slave, and won’t recognize it, even though I used the CD-ROM to reinstall the program.
“They” helped me get onto the ‘net, but it seems the administrator lock is interfering with a lot of things I try to do. Is there any way I can get rid of it?
Greetings ! :)
And hallucinations!
Never forget the hallucinations, most important.
Maybe I meant to say salutations. Hmm.
No, hallucinations sounds right.
Lived.
Now waiting for first load of laundry to finish so I can put on the second.
It doesn’t work with kids: they just keep asking, louder.
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