ISIS Surrenders in face of Climate Change Conference

Vanity | 12/10/2015 | ArGee

[ArGee]

Raqqa, Syria

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.

"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."

An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.

Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."

According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.

"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."

So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."

[Tax-chick]

I have not experienced sand-squeaking.

[Covenantor]

First warning sign of trouble with the young ones, take heed from the warning and start a marching band.... The classic

The Music Man "Ya Got Trouble"

[moose07]

Good Morning ‘Face.
We haz Hot and overcast with light drizzle.

[Tax-chick]

Heh. I was in that in high school.

[moose07]

There are several beaches ,mostly in Wales, that exhibit the feature. Kids love it. *Ahem* :)

[moose07]

Love it.
Some funny stuff in there,as well as accurate.

[Covenantor]

Squeaking sands?

Don't know about that.

We have barking sands!

Barking Sands beach, Kauai, HI.

Because all beaches have public access, following a tip from a dive instructor, my wife and I were able to drive through the red dirt access track of a sugar cane farm to the isolated Barking Sands beach, in the shadow of the Pacific Missile Range Facility Barking Sands.

Took about 30 bumpy minutes of slow driving to arrive and see the same vista on arrival as in the photo. Had a lovely and very private afternoon there.

More of a growing sound most of the time. Rip currents prevailed.

[Covenantor]

Never did understand the reference to reading “Uncle Billy’s Whiz Bang” but thought it must be an important reference source for young teenage boys on the threshold of manhood, along with the pool playing.

[moose07]

Now that is a gorgeous beach.
Planet Earth has some truly special hidden places.

;)

(Mmm, look at all that volcanic geology in the background.)

[moose07]

http://www.ebay.com/cln/phattwm/capt-billys-whiz-bang/88327806016

[Covenantor]

After all the decades of wondering about “Uncle Billy’s Whiz Bang” only to find that the issue with “Explosion of Pedigree Bunk” was already sold. Darn, and double darn it!

;>)

But thanks anyway.

[Monkey Face]

We have lovely hidden oil fields in Los Angeles, as well. I saw some again a little over a year ago. Homes and business just built around them, but they’ve been there for a century.

[moose07]

LOL.
Don’t you just hate it when that happens! :D

[Monkey Face]

Dang! I can’t keep up with you guys! LOL!

[moose07]

I love Nodding Donkey oil pumps.
There isn’t a single Zoo with one in captivity.
Don’t bring this up if you ever visit a Donkey sanctuary.....I have....you do get weird looks.

[Covenantor]

Nepali Coast, Kauai. There are awesome cliffs along the coast.

The hidden volcanic geology.

Nothing, not one plant, animal, or person is truly indigenous to the islands. All came from somewhere else after the islands formed.

[NicknamedBob]

That would make a good 3-D printing project.

[Covenantor]

Certainly would, if one could get the data points.

[Monkey Face]

Oh, how fascinating!! Thanks!

[Monkey Face]

When I was in 3rd Grade, I got a pen pal from Hawai’i, but she actually lived on Kauai. I finally got to meet her about 20 years ago when she came to Vegas on vacation. Our paths crossed a lot in the intervening years, but we didn’t know that until we met up.