Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
I’m glad you had a visit, at least.
I’m handing out food items to whichever children are about, as well as cooking chicken to make chicken salad. Tomorrow.
Just when I was resting easy over this order my neighbor wanted, and asked me to order it (because he didn’t want his “name and information ‘out there’.”)
I thought it was all ready to be shipped, I get an email from AMEX that said NOW the company wants the full $204, instead of the $171. And I had moved the $34 into a “set aside” account so as not to confuse it in my Direct Deposit.
When I told him, he acted like it was my fault. “I GAVE you $210.00.” *fume-steam-cringe*
Remind me never to do that again.
I’m so stinking frustrated over this company he chose to do business with, I could choke!
Bump to 9k.
Not yet!
Next time, tell him he can just put his name and information out there ... or do his shopping live in real time.
I will do that because I’m NOT going to “help” anyone again. And remember, I’m not getting paid for the stuff I’ve had to do and say in his behalf. There were at least three phone calls, and there is absolutely no price on the frustration those calls resulted in.
So he can either take a chance on “putting his stuff out there,” or he can go to the stores. And of course, now, he’s using the excuse that his truck doesn’t work. I’m not going to take him anywhere. I’ve done that. If he wanted to go an hour later, the answer would have been “no.” This is summer, and I have no A/C, so there is no compensation that can make up for that.
Are we there yet? I have to pee.
Welp. All y’all are just going to have to fight among yourselves for the 9,000, as I’m going to bed. I don’t like the antibiotics I’m on as they make me very tired.
And I know what is going to follow as sure as night follows day, and I don’t look forward to it. I really didn’t want to take the Keflex. And because of it, I will have to put my lower back surgical procedure back another six weeks. *sigh*
So right now, I’m not a happy girl.
Since you came in at such a late stage, I’ll let you have it. If I felt better, it would be mine.
Enjoy.
I was here for around 8,000. Don’t want the honor of 9,000.
I’m sorry you’re poorly, ‘Face!
Vlad managed to swim over 20 lengths, even though he’s got ruptured blisters from his sunburn. Frank went 11, although calling it “swimming” is a bit of a stretch. DP is with the older kids; they should be home soon.
It clouded up like it was going to storm, but it looks like it moved off.
Good morning.
That’s a very well used Kittie.
All of the white fur has rubbed off the extremities.
Morning. :)
Afternoon!
Happy June! I’m always pleasantly surprised that we’ve all made it through another month.
This is a good place to come and recharge your batteries when the rest of the FR threads have gone bonkers with politics and/or religion.
So set a spell and let's percolate, as me dear, late, lamented mither used to say!
OOOOOOoooohhh! Floofies!
SQUEE!
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