Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
I have to go to Walmart. We’re running out of toilet paper.
A classic, it never grows old. :)
What size of a tiara would fit your monkey? We can probably make something with our bead supplies (and maybe help from Asuncion).
Golly, I think it’s 21” long and maybe the circumference of the head is going to be five or six inches. The coiled wire for bracelets would probably work.
I took a nap.
I wanted to go to Walmart this morning early, but it will have to wait for payday.
I just put a roasting hen in the oven. Last time I was at Walmart, I found some yummy seasoning from Weber, and the whole house smells good. Now I’m going outside and wait...
The chicken was a hit. It fell off the bone but wasn’t dry. It was very moist, and yummy. The secret ingredient is: Slather the chicken with mayo, then put on the spices and herbs. I was happily surprised by the Weber Roasted Garlic and Herb mix. It was much better than I expected.
Anyway, I took a plate to Charlie and he was still at the table with Chuck, so I came back in and cut the other breast for Chuck, but I wasn’t going to give him a thigh and drumstick. After all, I wanted some chicken, too. And that was selfish of me.
While I was with the peeps at the ramada, earlier, I started getting sick to my stomach and I don’t know why. I happened again yesterday about the same time.
Anyway, I came in and took a hit of Nitro and I’m OK, now, but I’m really tired, and thinking very strongly of going back to bed. And I will probably do that shortly. But not right now.
Little Molly will be laid to rest tomorrow. I wish I could have contributed more money towards her funeral, but I just didn’t dare. But I will be thinking about her. I know she feels excellent, now, with no illness to hamper her. She was such a brave little moppet and always had a smile for everyone.
I’m glad your chicken was a win! The kids had pizza for Frank’s birthday, and DP grilled some beef strips for those who imagine that skipping pizza helps in some way.
Yes, we’re looking forward to some trips to Vegas!
Kitteh update: Since my return, Tori has not misbehaved. She is grooming herself again, and getting along with her sister.
We set up a ferret cage for her in my office; she has her own private litter box, food and water, and her own bed. She sleeps there at night instead of running all over the house getting in trouble. Having her own space has done the trick. She’s off the medication and her old self again.
Excellent news!
I don't know. Moving from Seattle to Phoenix seems like getting tossed from the rinse cycle straight into the drier.
Exactly. Not my first choice.
It has been my experience, not that it might apply to you, that it was easier to get adjusted to a desert climate than it was to readjust to the Mid-Atlantic coastal zone.
Yes, we have humidity here too.
‘Face will tell you though, start drinking water until you develop the habit. If you wait until you’re thirsty, you’re already dehydrated.
The news will only bring you down. Have this instead!
Cooties? They were around at least sixty years ago. No progress yet. Time for a March Against Cooties. For the chilruns.
Yes, by all means, drink lots of water. And ALWAYS carry a case of water in the trunk of your car. You never know when you might need it.
I don’t actually live IN Vegas. I live in Henderson, which is southeast, on the way to Boulder City and the Hoover Dam. (Or between Boulder City and Las Vegas, going the other way.) And where I live, it’s like a little pocket of sanity in an otherwise supercharged idiot tank.
Cute little squee things this morning!
I woke up at midnight and it was almost 0200 before I fell back to sleep and was up at 0400. *sigh*
I just kept thinking of Molly, and how her parents are holding up. And her grand parents. Her mom posted a thing about the death of a child on FB, and said it’s OK to talk about Molly. <3
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