Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Well, OK...I’m busted...Cuz I was definitely almost asleep...
And with that, I’m off to bed. Tomorrow is another day.
Has been a long day, G’night All.
ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz
So I took my inspection tour of the various spots that I had watered with special solution yesterday and noted with a certain satisfaction that most all the leaves on the plants that garnered special attention were responding in predictable fashion. I viewed the slightly curved and drooping leaves with some degree of accomplishment.
Then I spotted a clump of nettles that I had ignored or overlooked. They most certainly will get special attention the next time I mix up a batch of special plantcare fluid..
Advise Tom that hydraulic power can lift up heavy things, but it can also let them fall very quickly. Never trust it longer than necessary. Always set a jack-stand or its equivalent.
Mechanics who depend on a hydraulic jack alone to hold things up get stuck with interesting nicknames; Gimpy, Lefty, Stumpy, and Remember-Old-What's-His-Name.
The training program will strongly emphasize safety. After all, he’s no use to them if he loses a major extremity ... they just have to spend the money training another mechanic.
I take note of the propinquity of your cautionary confidence and the numeric symbolism of the post in which you mention it.
One can almost hear the scary music in the background.
But I would not discourage Tom from this avenue of opportunity. Rather I would strongly suggest that he not only pay very close attention to the safety training, developing the habits with rigorous self-interest, but to also work out his own methods to ensure safe work procedures, as if intent upon modernizing the safety programs and training that he is about to receive.
Let us remember that the best way to learn something is to be given the responsibility of teaching it, and that as a student intent upon being the next safety trainer, instead of example, he could boost his position in the company as well as preserve his legacy for the afternoon.
I have no intention of doing that!
Star of dinner theater production of Cats & The Phantom of the Opera.
Try the raw tuna special.
LOL!
The World is full of pith and irreverence this morning, and I’m loving every minute of it! LOL!
What a bunch of hilarity to wake up to!
In other news, I’ve lose two more pounds. :background roar:
And the crowd goes wild!!!
Good morning. Another day of survival here.
Tomorrow is John Wayne Day. I guess we won’t be able to have steaks, since we’ll be doing the swim team from 5:15 to 7:45, but we can watch movies.
65 degrees, SE @ 5, 33% clear, and the daytime high is 14 degrees below the norm for this time of year.
I SO want summer! This is such a strange spring for the desert. I suppose next year will be just as strange in the opposite direction. We’re almost in June, fercryinoutloud, and we have yet to get to 100 degrees officially.
I wouldn’t mind having steaks, especially since I found a recipe for a new rub that uses brown sugar, but the budget won’t handle it.
In a bit, I’ll be taking my shower and then I’ll put the bread dough in the oven and make the neighbors jealous while it cooks.
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