Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
That should be MOLLY's honor! *sheesh*
Mondays. At least I got the bed made, finally!
Darks lurking and Mondays are always good for some amazing typostrggujkos.
It used to be really bad when Darks would lurk, but I’ve built up a certain amount of immunity to him, now! LOL!
But it IS Monday, and as I went into the linen closet to put the sheets and towels away, I pulled on the light string and it came off in my hand. I had to get my step stool and a pair of pliers to shut the light off.
I need to call maintenance about it, but it may be a month before they come out to fix it. :o[
That really ought to be a word. It's the sound the keyboard makes when your fingers are being strangled on it.
Yes. I totally agree with your assessment of typostruggujkos. It’s a wonderful word! :o])
Heh. My friend from Oklahoma visited for a couple of hours. Now we’ll be rushing from swim practice to Cub Scouts and back.
Rumor (Okay, Okay, rumour) has it that Donald Trump is really Mexican.
After all, he has a Yucky tan...
I found three spots of some toxicodendron radicans that were looking parched. Although it kept insisting that everything was fine I watered those specimens liberally. As well as some opportunistic weedtype sruff growing by the milkhouse door. And some other stuff growing in some gaps in the stone wall. And some stingynettles that looked thirsty. Quite a few spots of stingingnettles as a matter of fact which I desire to prevent going to seed close to the house and grow in the ares where the grandchillen play. (Yes I know that nettles are edible if plunged into boiling water and have a flavor similar to spinach mixed with cucumber when cooked, and are rich in vitamins A and C, iron, potassium, manganese, and calcium. Should I ever decide to try some Nettle Soup there are plenty of specimens lurking further afield on the property that I can forage.)
I will revisit those areas in about a week to observe if the recipients of my ministrations are looking well watered as evidenced by their assuming a pleasing shade of brown.
Then I hopped in the evil SUV and ventured across the state border to my South. In the course of that drive while on one of those back country roads at a location approximately 3 miles from my driveway, I rounded a curve and spied a white cat. Full grown. Hunting. On the left side of the road. Just off the pavement in the weeds.
The white cat had no tail.
To tell.
If you hadn’t pointed it out, I wouldn’t have been aware of the existence of that sruff.
Maybe a fitting protaginist in The Attack of the Killer Weedtype Sruff..
I’ll let any budding author, or even one devoid of buds, steal the title sans remuneration.
That sounds truly nasty.
Haven’t been to Dorset since the mid nineties.
Looks like a classic mid Tudor period ,Centre staircase cottage construction. Probably a rebuild of a building already standing on that site.
(Note the Slope down from road to Front Wall.)
The left hand end having been extended possibly twice, first time for the Chimney,second for what is now the Toilet block.
Remember: What happens in Dorset ,stays in Dorset. :)
Such a diagnostic Clue !
There will be hell toupee.... :)
Herbicide and cat haunting. Busy afternoon.
*groan*
That was really bad, Nully. Not in the least bit punny and beneath your digity.
Yes, Moosie...that would be me. No shoes, yet, but the rest of me is dressed.
How are you, this fine day? Got sunshine?
Good morning. I have sunshine! I have cats! I have several children who have arisen from repose, and several more who haven’t.
I have good news about Frank’s swimming: the team director says that as long as he’s having fun and trying hard, he can continue going to practice. They just won’t enter him in a meet until he can get to the end of the pool without a rescue.
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