Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
We have Sunbean here, if Shannon is interested. I’ll be glad to share.
It keeps getting darker here. I realized I was lying in bed listing the things I was anxious about, so I decided to get up.
Consider this proper notice that I’m stealing this. It will reappear on another venue probably without proper attribution other than initials RG..
I’ve been very worried lately. Nothing’s wrong, and that’s just wrong.
Notice received. Lawyers notified to take no action.
Hopefully it will bring a smile - if even a wry one - into someone’s life.
If I thought I could sleep, I’d go to bed.
So far, I’ve changed the sheets and vacuumed the rug, and straightened up a little, but now I need to find something else to do.
I was hoping to get a card from my son, but nothing. And of course, my daughter won’t send one. I doubt she will even acknowledge Christmas since she’s having so much trouble at home. I don’t even have a turkey frozen dinner for Friday...I think I dropped the ball on that. :o[
You’ve had a productive day!
Trying to keep my mind off my life as I know it. This place isn’t big enough for me to really work off my frustrations.
Folks were laughing about the BB SUV today. I told them to hush up because the price was right and it still had gas from payday!! :o]
If your compooper or your kinkle or another device can actually stay running long enough, maybe this will bring some cheer.
https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-TAvZw87bQ0dxgP9irxmi1Di_ACW_Ztd
SNAP: Radio jockey punished for playing 'Last Christmas' 24 times...
I can't imagine a suitably bad punishment. The guy should just be shot.
Boy, oh, boy, are you going to catch it for not marking your posting as “Satire” because some people don’t recognize satire as such, and complain to the mods.
Thanks! That was nice!
Fortunately, me and the mods are like this. In fact, we get along better than Paul Ryan and the Republican Base.
Wait! Shields UP!
If a car runs consistently, there’s nothing bad you can say about it.
Four of the six people who were at the ramada today don’t have cars. It struck me as funny that they would laugh at Mr. Bill! You’d think they were Libtards (only one was.)
I agree, that is funny.
Yep. The folks around here are pretty entertaining, if you can look at them properly. Usually with a beer or a glass of wine, they are absolutely hilarious!
The bunch around the table are like a club — they are fiercely loyal to each other.
For some reason, NicknamedSue wanted to do some shopping tonight.
At least I got Eskimo Pies.
Hide the credit card.! :)
05:58
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