Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Ooops! Never mind. I found something that will work, I think. But thanks, anyway. :o])
I thought I was going to be able to work on my personal history this afternoon, but that just couldn’t happen. An online friend from Utah saw me on FB and wanted to chat. He said he had just gotten back from having a tumor removed from behind his left ear. I’m thinking it was melanoma, but I didn’t ask. He gets so excited when I’m online he talks about everything at once. *sigh*
He’s a nice guy, but I’m not ready for any involvements.
I stayed out with the peeps a little too long and the wind blew us to pieces. I just had enough and came in. Folks are weird to sit out in that stuff.
And again, the leg is bothering me. Dang! But I guess I should be glad that I can actually feel the pain, rather than complain because it there. :o])
At least we have all our limbs!
It’s so cold here that swim practice is cancelled for tonight and tomorrow.
I bring good Nose.
It appears that Austria is about to elect a Proper Austria First Government.
The unfresh imports don’t like it. :)
According to some town Mayor or other, the prisons are full of Aliens.
The BeeB was unable to find a native opponent to the party, trust me, they tried.
This time there is no “Outrage” from other EU zone populations. I wonder why......
Kewl.
We’ll send them a Kenyan if they want..
They don’t need that kind of ‘Help’ . :)
Yes, we do, and I am very grateful for all my working, moveable parts!
And with that, I’m taking my silly self to bed.
96 degrees, 10%, sustained at 9 mph, gusting to 32, out of the SW.
Summer here is excellent without the wind!
Nite, all!
That is good noose!
And that rhymes with moose, and I’m off to bed! :o])
G’night ‘Face. :)
Whoosh! Have a good night!
Sorry I didn’t get to it today. I couldn’t even get on the UT until now.
“One of THOSE days,” he said, nodding his head knowingly.
One of these days, it won't be one of those days.
You can retire.
That’s been true for a long time. But it gives me something to do.
If you could write all the time, it might not be as much fun.
Good observation. A writer needs input, and most of that comes from meeting and interacting with regular people, and all their daily misfortunes and efforts to deal with them.
Some stories need to gel and simmer a bit before they can be topped off. It’s rather disappointing to wrap something up just because you have a time limit.
Of course, we all have time limits.
I don't agree. There's an eternity without shadow or change, but with the achievement of greater "ourselfness," ahead of us.
Nonetheless, most great writers have done their best work under perceived deadlines, whether it's an editor saying, "Give us the book now or pay back the advance!" or the more general, "Eventually I'm going to die, and the readers are going to be PISSED about all the dangling sequels!"
Yes, I'm talking to you, Louis L'Amour!
Oh, good night.
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