Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Back from Weight Watchers, the gas station, and the used-bread store. Now I will see how the people at home did on their Household Tasks.
Laterally speaking....
If the house is still standing, they may not have...
Did I tell you I’ve lost two pounds? My BP is also a lot lower. And I think the latter is because of the hibiscus tea I’ve been drinking.
Excellent news! I lost three pounds in the last two weeks. After another five or so, my Scout pants will be comfortable again.
It’s raining here.
Not raining, but overcast and windy and chilly. And I’ve stowed my jacket for the summer... *sigh*
Cookies are baking and almost done. YAY!!
I will share with the peeps so I don’t eat so much!
It rained in the window only Jake’s bed. Very sad ...
I’ve been doing some minor admin stuff for church. Next thing will be read some stories to Kathleen. She’s whiny.
Guy Clark and Emilio Navaira died.
Onto.
I just sent Tom the Son some money by PayPal so he can buy wart remover. Frank has a wart on his thumb.
I hate warts.
I can’t place the two guys you named.
And now, I’m headed out with the cookies!
Guy Clark was a songwriter and singer mostly classed as “country.” He was 74. His death appears to be related to long-term smoking.
Emilio Navaira was one of the first Tejano performers to catch on with a (somewhat) larger American audience. Like Selena Quintanilla, a contemporaneous performer in the genre, he was known by just his first name, “Emilio!” He had a very good voice and was quite a cutie. He was 53, and looks as if he died from complications of alcoholism.
Hope your friends all enjoyed the cookies. Bill is home with the car, having learned that Anh’s, the Vietnamese tailor shop, will alter his dress shirts to a more streamlined fit. His goal in life is someday to be able to afford made-to-measure tailoring.
Tom has gone to Walmart for some sort of electronics charger and the wart medication for Frank’s thumb.
I would get wart medication, but I can’t afford the stuff.
Why would Bill want made-to-measure clothing when he lives at home? Who is he going to impress? Tom?
It was too cold to stay outside for too long and three of the people who showed up are diabetic, so they wouldn’t eat the cookies.
For some reason, I’m in a lot of pain today and my mood took a radical shift a while ago and I can’t get out of it. :o[
It’s too early to go to bed, but I sure want to, anyway.
It was 65 when I went outside, and 40%, and I don’t know what the wind speed was, but it was pretty bad.
Oh. I don’t think I’ve heard of Emilio. But it’s always sad when artists die. The world will always have a place for people with talent.
And it will always be sad that people die from diseases they could have done something about years ago. :o[
Busdaddy’s eldest brother “wasn’t feeling good,” for several months, thinking he had a cold that just “wouldn’t let go,” and when he finally saw the doctor, he was in Stage 4 of lung cancer. I think from the diagnosis to his death was a mere six weeks.
That happened to one of my great-uncles in Missouri, sorta. He fell off a ladder and broke his leg, and when he got to the hospital, they told him had terminal liver disease. He died in a couple of weeks.
You can freeze the cookies and enjoy them later.
Bill goes out sometimes, and he dresses up for the museum. If future greatness eludes him, it won’t be because he was underdressed!
He’s grilling some sausages for me for the kids’ dinner. It will be time to take Vlad and Frank to swim practice in about 45 minutes. Sally, Pat, and James go later. Somewhere in there, I have to get to a lector’s meeting at church.
I just transferred all the files I had on the flash drive to the Toshiba slave, so I feel better, now that they are all in the same place.
Now all I have to do id try to find what name I gave my personal history, so I can start to work on it again.
I want to go to bed... But I have to stay up for a little bit.
Good luck with your files. Out the door shortly here.
OK. I’m...
taking it...
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