Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
And you’re right: Nobody was watching! W00t!!
Win!
I was texting with DP, who is at the coast. Our bank is concerned because his account is being used at the coast instead of in the Charlotte area. Which is nice of them.
After all, we wouldn't want to have any unmonitored transactions taking place, would we?
Because then they'd have to report that to the Feds. Just like they do everything else.
You mean like jalapeño poppers?
Yeah. I just got back from a drug run.
At least we know you were driving carefully.
Gotta be careful on those drug runs, especially if you have a brake light or headlight out.
That’s what gets a lot of people caught..
;-)
Not usually a problem when they are Rx and in the original, labeled container
No, mini-mild-bell-peppers, red, yellow, and orange. I had jalapenos in the marinade for the pork roast. Sometimes I make stuffed Anaheim peppers for stuffed poblanos, if I can find good peppers.
That’s what gets ‘em in trouble around here. They don’t label the container..
But there was the Gee-knee-us that stuffed them into a Ziploc stashed in an empty Shake ‘N Bake box.
Not that that means anything.. ;-)
Good idea!
LOL!
Dang! I woke up at 0340 and did the “I’ll just lie here for a little bit” thing and two hours and twenty minutes later, I wake up to the light from outside brightening my bedroom! DANG! I wasted an hour and 20 minutes! Eeeee!
My son sent me a text last night saying I had to go on a treasure hunt. Then he gave me some really strange directions that only hockeybughow could think up, and the caveat was: But NOT on Sunday! So tomorrow I will follow the destructions and see what’s at the end of the rainbow. Ha-ha.
And now, I’m off to the shower to be clean for Sunday.
Good morning. I also am planning to shower.
Done with the shower, and will soon get ready for church. I’m a little tired this morning, but not like I have been. Maybe I’m all caught up on the rest I needed. For today, anyway.
It was 73 when I got up and it’s 74, now. Needless to say, I have the door open to let the cool in. :o]
Me, too. Bill and Sally are home, and the rest of us will have lunch and leave between 12:15 and 12:30.
It’s 53° here now, but 47% RH.
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