Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Good job!
Today’s hard-to-see kittens are lurking in New Zealand.
Very pretty, but kind of whoooshy there across England.
I think I’ll have a shower before the Horde gets up.
Just checked, Sunshine and showers for the next couple of days, here.
Have actually got Christmas off this year....swopped with a money enthusiast.
New Zealand Kitties....
They cook their prey in a Hongi before they eat it, then. :)
Hangi...
New Canadian winter sport sweeping the nation. Purling it's called, a form of training for curling. Beneficial to both the player and the feline. Cats love the crackling of the static electricity in the dry winter air as they sweep across the floor. Putting mice and dust bunnies both on notice.
Morning,
LoL Love it!
Do they do a rotating version?
Floor- o- matic KittieBuffer....Purrfect!
Good for you!
The self-loading broom aspect makes it an assault weapon according to some.
mew, mew, mew, mew
Now that’s just weird. But then, catz are. Our old Agnes liked to be vacuumed with the hosepipe extension.
Nice choice of Hat.
I need one of those......
what the well dressed ghillie wears on the hunt.
But where is the Picatinny rail on a Kat?
I can tell he wants to bite your arm off.
Kittie Depthcharge rack....wow.
A mouse lived in a windmill in old Amsterdam
A windmill with a mouse in and he wasn’t grousin’
He sang every morning, “How lucky I am,
Living in a windmill in old Amsterdam!”
Chorus:
I saw a mouse!
Where?
There on the stair!
Where on the stair?
Right there!
A little mouse with clogs on
Well I declare!
Going clip-clippety-clop on the stair
Oh yeah
This mouse he got lonesome, he took him a wife
A windmill with mice in, it’s hardly surprisin’
She sang every morning, “How lucky I am,
Living in a windmill in old Amsterdam!”
Chorus
First they had triplets and then they had quins
A windmill with quins in, and triplets and twins in
They sang every morning, “How lucky we are
Living in a windmill in Amsterdam, ya!”
Chorus
The daughters got married and so did the sons
The windmill had christ’nin’s when no one was list’nin’
They all sang in chorus, “How lucky we am
Living in a windmill in old Amsterdam!”
Chorus
A mouse lived in a windmill, so snug and so nice
There’s nobody there now but a whole lot of mice.
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