Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Yes. That.
(I saw what you did.)
Thanks!
Welcome. I have put the children’s lunch on the table, but they’re all upstairs waiting for everyone else to put the clothes and bedding away.
Is waiting for everyone else to do something akin to watching grass grow?
Very exciting. NOT!
Maintenance just came and said he’s going to replace the seal on the fridge. FINALLY! LOL!
I will go to Walmart in the morning. I don’t know why I’ve been so tired lately. For the most part, I’m sleeping all night, except for the few trips to the euphemism, but it takes me a while to get going in the morning. I decided to take more colloidal silver and will see how that works. One FReeper suggested it would cure the CFIDS, but I doubt it. Maybe if a person used it at the first hint of the disease, it would, but mine was pretty well advanced before it was even diagnosed. (My eyelids feel like two burn holes in a wool blanket.)
They finally had lunch. Then we went to the park. I picked up trash.
Now I’m going to lie down with Jake for a little while. This evening I’m taking Tom to the trade-programs open house at a far-off Central Piedmont branch.
I was just about ready to go out and sit with the peeps, and my phone rang. It was one of my friends from church who wanted my address, as they are in Minnesota to visit his son, and they wanted to send me a card. We talked about 10 minutes and when I hung up, there was a knock at the door. It was the maintenance man, wanting to check out the seal on the fridge. I’m thinking I may get a new fridge, but that was not to be.
After he checked it, he left for a minute and came back in with a fridge door. No new fridge for me. He installed the door and said there wasn’t much that could be done with the stove, so I’ll have to cook on the big burner again and then I’ll have to file another complaint. Maybe. Maybe I’ll get a new stove. He says the stove is “only” about five or six years old, so it sounds like I’ll just have to deal with the burner. *sheesh*
Then I went out to sit with the peeps, and now I’m tired and slightly hungry. It was nice out, with a breeze and the warm temps, so it wasn’t too bad sitting there. But I get tired of LuDean and her constant political rants and the back-biting she does about various residents. Before I went out, I wondered what she says about me when I’m not there. :o|
Sounds busy! Jake appeared from wherever he hides - maybe under the bed - and snoozed on my stomach. Now I need to start making supper for the yutes.
I just had a little deep dish frozen pizza. Walmart sells them four to a box, and they aren’t too bad as cheap pizzas go.
For some reason, I’m having a lot of trouble with my back the last two days, and the cut off time for morphine for me to be able to sleep is noon.
Weird days, lately. :o|
One wonders what fiendish plans are afoot should the attempt at incubating eggs prove fruitious..
Nefarious? Could be, but maybe he wantscto be first in line for the chicken dinner...dream big I always say.
If you could change the animals that represent the different political parties, what would they be and why?
FYI: I’ve been drinking hibiscus for a couple of weeks, now, and my BP has dropped 50 points since I last saw the doctor, the last week of April.
I like it cold, and I will continue to drink it to see if it’s the real deal or just one of those things. It may explain why I’ve been so tired, lately. ;o]
At any rate, it’s pretty good stuff! Thanks, Moosie!
With a cat involved in the equation, anything can happen!
LOL!
50 points! Do you attribute that to the hibiscus tea? Rid of the BP meds?
Since I can’t take BP meds, this is really an awesome thing for me. My diet hasn’t changed in the last two weeks, except for the tea, so I would have to say, “Yes, I attribute it to the hibiscus tea!”
Why can’t I take them? CFIDS is the short answer. The long answer is this: Prescription meds can be an overdose, not effective, or mimic the symptoms. In the case of BP meds, they raise my BP 20-30 points for each day I take it.
Not a fun thing to contemplate. So I’m glad this tea is working! :o])
And with that, I’m off to watch the dreams.
All y’all take care!
‘Face
That would be a bit disconcerting. Actually LIKED by a Cat.....
I have addressed this matter:
Cats Are Not Companions
Cats are not companions,
In walks we take through life.
"You go ahead," they'll yawn instead,
"I'm sharpening my knife."
On furniture, you'll notice,
The kind that you require,
For resting in, reposing,
In comfort by the fire.
They may not mind your being there,
And in your favorite seat,
As long as you are quick to rise,
When it is their time to eat!
For cats are not companions,
They are in charge of us!
Why else would they be in the chair,
While we're out on the bus?
NicknamedBob . . . September 2, 2014
Good Observation there, Bob. :)
“Why else would they be in the chair,
While we’re out on the bus?”
Cats can’t hold Oyster Cards in their paws. :)
That’s really good. As good as the famous poets.
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