Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Every day is Monday, except Friday.
It’s 1:30 AM and no kitten.
Today's show - KitchenKatz shows how to obstruct humans in hi-tech and lo-tech fashion. First the noisy whirry thingee food masher and then the passive agressive nap technique.
So that’s why there’s cat fur on the counters.
I was thinking about you last night, Covenantor, wondering how you’re feeling. It’s good to see you are posting! :o])
Are you over the flu? Lingering after effects? Still coughing and hacking?
Such cute kittehs! SQUEE!!!
If they had opposable thumbs, we’d be toast.
We would have been toast when Eden was still in existence! So I’m thinking there was a reason cats were made without thumbs. ;o]
In the absence of original sin, maybe the cats would have liked us.
I’m going to make myself unpleasant to various teenaged persons now. I will sing them a happy song in Spanish!
Morning people should be deported to a place that corresponds with their circadian cycle.
I only pretend to be pleasant in the morning to get even with such people.
No hay Dios tan grande como Tu, no lo hay, no lo hay ...
Louder?
No hay Dios ...
It becomes a rather moot point as to who would be doing the rounding up, since all such motivated people would be sleeping in, so the problem is likely to remain with us.
My daughter wanted to sleep in and my son wanted to get up and get his room cleaned and have the rest of the day to do what he wanted.
I was like that too. And my house was always clean and neat. Here, I don’t have enough space to put the stuff, even though I keep weeding out, throwing out and giving away.
And CFIDS wreaked havoc with the energy bursts. :o[
So my house is what it is. Like it or leave it.
Thanks forcasking. Final stages of hacking and hocking...trying to catch up on sleep and chores. Yourself?
Did you notice that the little demon had the chocolate covered as well? Fiendish they are....
I’m good. Not quite as tired as I’ve been the last few days, so that’s a bonus.
Mine comes and goes with no warning, and no indication of the severity, so I just roll with it.
I’m glad you’re feeling better, for sure! :o]
As many cats as I’ve had, I’ve never seen one that would eat chocolate. One sniff and they walked away.
Of course, one could posit that he was “saving” it as a reward for his servant...
It occurred to me to wonder what the hoomin planned to do with eggs and chocolate. Chocolate mousse, perhaps ...
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