Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
I hope you have a good night!
Here’s the right way to celebrate Mother’s Day.
I took NicknamedSue, Teen1, and Teen2 to see the Avengers movie.
Just to be nice, I paid for the popcorn this time.
You’re a prince, Bob.
Likely for the same reason they call dogs that.
Isn’t that poison ivy?
Looks like four leaves on that top frond.
Squee overload! LOL!
They look like they need lots of hugs!
Morning. Orange kitten’s leaves are the wrong shape to be poison ivy.
Yep.
I just got back from the laundry room. When I got there at 0630, there were two people ahead of me and there are only four machines, so I got one and had to wait for it to finish so I could do the other load. Same with drying.
Over two hours. UNGGH!!
And since my daughter came yesterday, I didn’t get the letter to my grandson finished. *sigh*
So I have to get that finished and in the mail today. I also didn’t get my morning reading done today so I’ll have to do it this afternoon.
What a messed up Monday!
:o|
I want to get my hair cut the right way, but it’s been two weeks, so I’ll probably have to pay for it. I need to get some yogurt, too while I’m out. But both will have to wait.
Now, I have to fill the ice cube trays. Later, I will have to put clean linens on the bed, but this week, it’s my favorite/hated set. It never pulls out from between the mattress and the box springs, but it’s hard to put on in the first place. And it’s such a pretty pattern, too. Paisley.
Off to build ice cubes.
I’m not having the best-organized day, either. I suppose I should make sure we have frozen pizza for the kids’ supper. If not, I’ll have to go to Walmart. We also need napkins and bananas again.
Tomorrow we’ll go to the library.
i want todays special baby.
ive been really depressed today, miserable family reunion yesterday all i can think of is how much i want a kitty.
i cant stop crying
is it normal to love your family but not really like them?
It’s very possible to love someone(s) and not like them, and guess what? You don’t HAVE to like them! I promise! And you won’t go to Hell for it, either. The only thing you have to do is “honor your mother and father,” but you don’t have to love them to do that.
*hugs*
Wow. This is the day from Hell, for sure. I’m trying to make my bed and I can’t take any more morphine, and because of that, this will take a long time.
I finished the letter to my grandson, took my pills and had some yogurt for lunch. I want something else, but I don’t know what. I’m out of TV dinners. Except for a sausage and gravy pot pie, and I don’t know why I even bought that. Go figger.
I went to print a graph that I got off the internet about a year ago, and it came out very small. Maybe the Dell will allow me to print it full size when the thing comes back. Or I can go to UPS Store to pay for an enlargement. Which irritates me, because the guy there is really standoffish.
I try to be pleasant, but it isn’t appreciated.
At least there’s only one Monday this week.
But the week has just started, so its anyone’s guess how many more Mondays there are, just lurking!
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