Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Sleepy, but otherwise not bad. I could fit in a trip to the gym before choir, if I really rushed, but I don’t feel like rushing.
I dreamed about cats. They had fleas.
I don’t recall my dreams, but I recall that they were disturbing, so maybe it’s good that I can’t remember what they were about.
In a few minutes, I’ll be going to Walmart. It’s raining out. It started last night. Not so much thunder as there was on Friday night, but still — we do need the rain, so I try to see it as liquid sunshine.
It will probably be Tuesday before I can get my hair re-cut, but in the meantime, I sure don’t like looking in the mirror!
I’m glad you’re feeling better, but try not to overdo it, OK? (She says to the professional mother!)
Good luck! We have to go to Walmart, too.
Frank is up, complaining that he’s cold. It’s 74 in here, according to the thermostat.
Been to Walgreen’s, Walmart and the Rebel station, and it didn’t rain the whole time. But I just went to take the garbage out, and it’s coming down like a cow doing its thing on a flat rock!
It sounds good, but I’m pretty achy after being on my feet like that, standing, waiting, stooping — it gets to me.
Since I didn’t go inside at the Rebel, I didn’t get quarters, so I’ll have to make another trip. *sigh* Later.
We’re moving slowly here. Tom the Son hurt himself at the gym last night. Happens when you lift weights only once a month or so ...
I'm limping along too.
How come your apostrophe didn't cause weird symbols to show up? Did John fix the cut-and-paste problem? Thank you, John!
I don’t know. I haven’t been noticing the apostrophe glitch recently.
While I was serving dinner at church last night, I got a bottle of water for one of our elderly guests and then said, “Miss Mary Jane, where you settin’? I’ll pack this over there for ya!” I think I’ve lived in these parts too long ...
If you get too comfortable with that, you may put your position as Executive Secretary at risk.
On the other hand, you will become very good at writing dialogue.
Can’t make money either way, unfortunately.
It just quit raining for a while, though there are a few rogue drops, and it looks like it will be with us most of the day and into tomorrow.
I’d go out and play in it but I’m not going to shrink, so that won’t be much fun — haha.
We might get rain later. I’m back from choir. Now I’m thinking of nap.
For your further linguistic amusement, I was out the other night and saw a cardboard sign on a telephone pole, informing us that a certain landscape service would “fertizle lawns.”
“landscape service would “fertizle lawns.””
Yikes ! That sounds “X” rated.
I hope they don’t do it within sight of small children.
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LOL! Guard your pets, too.
7575
I don’t remember what the song had for this year. Probably an inauguration or something.
Teleportation? Several additional, useful limbs?
I could endorse that. Some days, you just don't have enough tentacles.
Crazy me and crazy peeps - we met at the ramada just as the mail truck came. I think I sat there for 40 minutes but got too cold.
I got a very pretty card today, thank you! So it’s on the bookcase, now.
For now, it has stopped raining, but it’s still overcast, cold and gloomy. This is a strange spring, as Las Vegas springs go.
*tagline*
Ain't that the umpteenth corollary of the 'starving artist' axiom?
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