Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Yeah, that was pretty good.
I’m supposed to go to the clinic in a couple of hours, and I really don’t want to. Herbal remedies take a little longer to work, but there are rarely any side-effects. I don’t like side-effects.
I’m going to try and hang onto this laptop until after payday, and then I will see about getting the loaner. I don’t want to put my banking information on another computer unless it is mine.
It’s supposed to be up to 73 today, but I’m still having chills so I will, as usual, wear a jacket! LOL!
Thanks, guys! I LOL’d at it myself, which is why I used it! So logical it’s funny.
Im sending it to a bunch of friends!
hi
Hello, You!
I was outside for a while, but I’m back. Are you OK?
A good thunderstorm will fix that. It will wash off all the dust so that when it all dries up it will be uniform instead of spotted.
As a matter of fact, our vehicles are at the car wash as we speak... ;-)
If you didn't 'get' that, look at the sometimes-ACCUrate-Weather radar for the right coast..
The thunderstorms have ferocious winds, and if the rain doesn’t come down at the same time the storm is overhead, the wind will blow the dust onto everything. And then we might get a few rogue drops.
Living in Las Vegas is an exercise in futility when it comes to the weather.
On another note, here's an item of scientific interest..
Sleep Scientist Claims That Nature Wanted Us to Start Our Day at 10 A.M.
Offered in case anyone out there needs an excuse a scientific reason to sleep in...
BWAHAHAHA!!!
Since I’m usually up at 0430 or 0530, it’s hard for me to think that people were meant to sleep until 1000. Even as a kid, I was up very early, just so I could watch the sunrise.
Sleep in? If I wake up at 0600, I think I’ve wasted half the day! LOL!
It’s sunny and warm here. The cats are happy. The children are complaining it’s too hot (80.5 in the dining room).
73 here, with wind, again, but it is sunny, and tomorrow will be warmer.
I was going to print out the last few pages of Igor’s personal history, and just when I had made all the adjustments necessary, the computer stopped. I had to delete a couple of programs that had over-ridden the OpenOffice program I have on here for documents. It was frustrating because I didn’t know how to make Open Office the default again.
Long story short, I managed to muddle through without deleting something important, so I’m good!
Now I can go lie down. And maybe I’ll get a good night’s sleep. With now weird dreams. Or scary ones.
And tomorrow, with luck, I will get a haircut.
OK, fellas: Here’s a problem I don’t know how to solve.
How do I add page numbers to a document that’s already complete?
No hurry, as I’m going to bed, soon, so tomorrow will be fine.
Squee!
Document is created using what software?
Cute cats.
Stapler and pen.
No, actually you can start numbering anywhere with the number you choose. I recall using Roman Numerals on one part, and then regular counting on the rest of the document.
Make sure you have an un-messed up version to go back to if you mess it up.
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