Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
LOL! For James! Just like a guy!
Awwww....squee!
“I’m hot!”
“Do you think it’s because you’re wearing flannel pajamas and wrapped in blankets?”
Went through this with Bill a few times ... he thought he was in a high fever, when he was just bundled up in a warm room.
I want to hug a kitten!
You probably liked it because it seemed to offer a path to kittezenship.
But they weren't mutants. They were genetically modified, in keeping with the notion of "be careful what you wish for".
Opposable thumbs ...
Except for one. Earth spins tilted within the Milky Way galaxy, allowing the astonishing display of stars to stream over our heads on a nightly basis.
In our solar system, the only planet that appears to align in its spin with the rest of the galaxy is Uranus. That’s how badly out of it we are.
My kids were always good about saying they were too hot or too cold, so it’s pretty funny when I hear of anyone having problems with their kids being so hot from being bundled or so cold from not enough covering. My twisted sense of humor is at fault. ;o]
Yes, I know the feeling...:o|
O. I stand corrected. I still enjoyed it, though! :o])
I just started reading a book last night about a rogue planet that managed to find our Solar System. Because of its speed, it obliterated Mars, and went into an elliptical orbit, being mapped to almost collide with the Earth in 12 years.
And that’s as far as I’ve gotten. Interesting premise. In the future 80 years, and a lot of things are taken over by Libs, but America still has a President. That’s good to know. Now I can die without having to worry about the future of this country.
Baby Morris on his first of his nine lives.
Want want want
It’s a nasty day threatening to rain . I’d love to snuggle with a kitten. Happy Caturday
My kids don’t process cause and effect all that well.
I never looked at it that way, but I’m sure that’s exactly what it is.
I don’t know about their kids, but when they were still at home, they were pretty self-sufficient.
Sunny but windy today, and maybe rain tomorrow afternoon or evening.
*sigh* We need it, but I sure don’t like the way it makes me feel!
We got snow last night, at least on the hills...
I saw the weather and it showed the snow storm moving east, towards Elko, so I figured you’d get some of it.
How is work, now that your eye is fixed?
I had bad vision and eye pain yesterday, turned out to be a reaction to they eyedrops they gave me, on new ones. Doing better today, have to go to work today and tomorrow, we’re moving.
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