Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
“...Machine Gun Kelly and Vladimir Lenin were born on this April day...” As was the late not-lamented Igor. And THAT was not coincidence, either!
Passover, already? It seems like only yesterday! *hug*
LOLZ!
You know how when you read something so quickly it’s wrong?
I thought you wrote GRACE Kelly, not Machine Gun Kelly.
Time for coffee!!
Well, Ganag, the latest missive from Dell Tech Support says for me to tell them the best time to call and they will help me with my problem, but no refunds or exchanges are made after 21 days of purchase.
If I had known what the “signs” meant in the first 21 days, I would have done exactly that. Instead, I am stuck with a piece of junk that is cleverly designed as a Dell computer until such time as I can afford to get something else.
And that’s the way it is.
So I will continue to suffer the blackouts and keep removing the battery to reset it until a new computer is available. Anything but a Dell. Or a Toshiba. Or HP....
(Must be my magnetic personality... )
Tomorrow is Shakespeare’s birthday
To celebrate or not to celebrate, that is the question.
Actually, I just quoted from Covenantor, but you’re right: It is time for coffee!
Sod it all!
;>)
Have you ever had one of those days when you are holding a stick and everyone looks like a pinata?
Beats the heck out of the inverse, so to speak.
The truth is that those animated pinatas never never spill the candy after being broken. What can one expect from hollow papier mache objects?
Don't even give out a satisfying ring as with a bell. Just a dull thwack...big nothing.
Believe it or not, my front door is open! It’s 71 degrees outside, but it is going to be warm and windy this afternoon and into tomorrow afternoon.
I’m hoping I start feeling better soon, as my house needs to be cleaned...floors, specifically. *sigh*
I can relate to that. And today, I feel like the piñata...
;o]
When it gives you the trouble, what do it do?
What it just did. Shuts down with no warning, so all I have is a black screen. Then it may or may not reboot. I took the battery out just now and went to get a cup of coffee, and all of a sudden, I was hearing a series of three loud beeps. It just kept going, and I unplugged all the cables to it. It had never done that before. (The beeps)
Three days in a row now...normally, it goes a few days between shut downs, but not this week. If I had $300 I would go put a down payment on a custom computer...
LOL - good one!
Easy Tiger!
:)
Restart the compooper. As the compooper boots and displays the Dell splash screen press <F12> (be careful not to get splashed). You should get a menu that will either show the diag nose ticks as an option or a utility partition as an option. In the utility partition you should get the diag nose ticks.
It could take a while, but it should tell you if you haz a hardwarz problem. If it's softwarz it's not really the fault of the Dull Compooper Corporation.
Dell just called and they want me to send the thing back. They had me do the diagnostic, and it just finished. I don’t know what is going to happen, now.
I have a cleaning lady that comes in once a month to do the vacuuming and stuff like that because I can’t bend.
Once all the surgery is done I loose her. She’s my mother’s girl and I treat her like gold too. My mom really needs her.
As for your computer, I wish I was rich enough to buy you a Mac.
Thanks! I wish I was rich enough to buy me a Mac, too!
;o]
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