Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
The Overnight People left the cats out again. Jake has gone to bed, though it looks like there will be no Sunbeam. Shannon is eating all the food, after which she will probably spew before she goes to bed for the day.
Haha! I’m sorry. I’m laughing at myself and my petty problems. Frank throwing up wouldn’t be a good start to any day, I think. Is he running a fever? You’ve already done more in a few hours than I will probably do all day! *hug*
And now, I’m off to the showers. Maybe I’ll feel a little better afterwards.
According to the latest report, he’s throwing up again. At least he hasn’t eaten anything else ...
I guess I’d better go check on it. One problem with being sick around here is that there’s always someone else camped out in the bathroom.
There are games here and in Phoenix, and Cedar City used to have them along with the college’s Shakespeare Festival, but I think it has all morphed into the Games with the Festival as an added attraction.
Oh dear. Poor Frank. I hate throwing up! GAH! I hope he feels better soon.
I don’t know if he is or not ... I can’t get to the bathroom because Bill is in the way with his everlasting grooming process.
Frank has been extracted. It appears he has not thrown up again. I will give him a piece of toast.
If Pat ever gets his teeth clean, he can do math.
The summer I was in Nova Scotia, in the final rounds a contender had a slip and the caber cracked when it hit the wood curb. LOL! ...took awhile to bring out the spare.
And as much as I enjoy bagpipe music, I swore I would never be in the vicinity of massed pipers tuning their pipes. Headsplitting sounds that define caterwauling... as if a great cat massacre were taking place.
Actually, at that time everything and everyone was vegetarian.
A little bagpipery goes a long way.
Planned Parenthood:
THERE IS NO EVIDENCE THE CHICKEN CROSSED THE ROAD. THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A LIE CREATED BY THE WAR ON CHICKENS. THE VIDEO OF THE CHICKEN CROSSING THE ROAD WAS TAKEN ILLEGALLY AND WE WILL PURSUE CRIMINAL PENALTIES. THE CONGRESSIONAL HEARINGS ON CHICKENS CROSSING THE ROAD ARE A SHAM.
Good one, ArGee!
Back from Walmart. Two of the three least liked residents crossed my path this morning within the same three-minute period. GAH! NOT the way to start the day!
My “bank” has a program to search for lower prices than Walmart and refund me the difference. In three weeks, I’ve gotten almost $7 back. :o])
I hope what Frank has isn’t contagious. It sounds awful, whatever it is.
Pat is pretty good at math, isn’t he? And is he still studying Greek?
Hey, it’s Friday Eve!! Everybody ready for Friday?
My head exploded from the little gray squee.
Were those residents crossing the road after Argee’s chickens?
I’m in a silly mood. I just saw the Queen is 90 today. Happy happy birthday!
No, the said residents were still in the parking area. One was leaving and the other was just getting into his car. The first one is the one who parks in everyone else’s parking spot, without regard to how long they’ve been here or how ill they are. He was told by management to park in the other area a couple of years ago, but that manager is no longer here.
The second one is the jerk that moved in about six months ago and told a 15-year resident that he (new guy) was going to park in that spot and there was nothing the guy could do. He did. His car was put into that spot by a tow truck and that’s where it stayed until management had it towed. He has a newer car, now, and he still parks there.
And the long-time resident is so ill with kidney and heart diseases that he really needs that spot. I’ve dubbed the first guy the Hypocrite (he says he’s a preacher, but isn’t acting Christ-like) and the other is Oscar the Grouch, because he tells people to “shut up and leave me alone.”
Yep. We have some very unique people...
The peeps at the ramada are the only ones that are semi-quasi normal.
Oh, yes: Happy Birthday, Queen Elizabeth!
Doesn’t she celebrate in June?
Good morning. Wasn’t that a nice kitten?
The PC did a number on me again, so I made some chocolate cookies to share with the peeps.
This thing is so stinking unreliable, I’m regretting the money I spend on it every month. *sheesh*
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