Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
LOL!
.
.
.
Too much time on their hands ...
Yeah. I'll have to go for more detail next time she brings up the Civil War. "Was that before or after your visit to the Louvre?"
That was cute!
Momcat looks so protective over the baby squee!
Another rough night. I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep for two hours, and that really upset the applecart.
So, here I am, wondering “why?”
Gah! LOL! Cute!
I did some research on hair donations, and I don’t qualify on too many levels. They don’t want gray hair and they don’t want curly hair. So, now, I have all this hair and again, I’m wondering “why?”
Walmart is calling me, but I’m not quite ready to go. However, I don’t want to wait too long...
As for the rude folks, I think it was especially rude in view of that fact that about once every week or ten days, I make a treat and take it to the ramada to share. I thought about that early this morning, and I decided to forgive them for being such ignorant dolts.
They wouldn’t want my hair, either. Maybe Tom’s will get long enough ...
We went to the gym. Now I’m going to take a shower.
I want a nap.
In other news, today, Las Vegas will see the opening of the first “Weeding Chapel” in the country. Yessireefolks! No smoking inside, but the “weedy” types can get married there and someone will even help you to apply for a medical marijuana certificate, before or after the ceremony.
On Monday, the first “Gender Neutral” bathroom was unveiled. GAH!!! I’m glad I live where I do, which is quite removed from Vegas, actually. ;o]
Sounds fascinating. I don’t suppose those people will succeed as heavy equipment mechanics.
Most days, during the local news and weather, I do a lot of face palming. Sometimes, it’s actual, sometimes, it’s mental, but the insanity of the Libtards is truly mind-boggling.
I didn’t take a nap and I didn’t make it to Walmart. Now I don’t want to go. However, if the mood swings hit me again today, I may have to go, no matter what time it is.
And I keep spilling coffee on my shirts!! That’s an awful big hole in my chin!
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
DONALD TRUMP:
We will build a big wall to keep illegal chickens from crossing the road. We will have a door for legal chickens.
JOHN KERRY:
We will trust the chicken to tell us whether it crossed the road or not.
CHRIS CHRISTIE:
We need to water board that chicken to find out why it crossed the road.
RAND PAUL:
It’s none of our business why the chicken crossed the road.
NANCY PELOSI:
We will have to wait until the chicken crosses the road to see what it says.
CARLY FIORINA:
Hilary Clinton lied about why the chicken crossed the road.
BRIAN WILLIAMS:
I crossed the road with the chicken.
BEN CARSON:
This isn’t brain surgery.... it wanted grain.
SARAH PALIN:
The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he’s a maverick!
BARACK OBAMA:
Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.
HILLARY CLINTON:
What difference does it make why the chicken crossed the road?
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle of the road here.
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with that chicken.
BERNIE SANDERS:
That little chicken will pay 80% income taxes no matter what side of the road it’s on. He’s got to help finance free college even for those that just want a four year vacation.
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken.
AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white?
I would have thought Bernie thought the chicken crossed the road to be made into matzoh ball soup.
Mmmmm.
Not a fan of Bernie but he reminds me of so many of my late uncles. Voice and mannerisms,
THAT is going into the Undead Thread File! It’s VERY good!
Thanks for posting it. ;o]
I don’t want to go to Walmart, either, but we’re out of apples and half-and-half.
I went out to sit with the peeps for a while. There was a meeting at the community room, but I didn’t go because this new manager is all gung-ho, and in another six months, he will have the wind taken out of his sails, just like all the others.
And there’s a good possibility that the higher-ups won’t care for his “get-’er-done” attitude.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.