Posted on 12/10/2015 1:17:32 PM PST by ArGee
Raqqa, Syria
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.
"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."
An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.
Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."
According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.
"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."
So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."
Just saw this post about your friend’s shingles. I got the vaccine for it a couple of years ago. As Tom says, “I ain’t about that life!”
Personally I think the next time you get one of those extremely violent mood swings you should head over to the White Hut or the Crapital Building and take it out on somebuddy there.
I don’t know if I should get the vaccine or not, since my immune system is so “up-regulated.”
That means the things that may affect you may be totally irrelevant to me. Just saying.
Oh, yezzz, and how I would LOVE to!!! :o]
Yeah, I understand.
:o]
And I’m almost ready for bed. I was able to fold the clothes and hang them up/put them away and to me, that’s always a good thing, because there are days when none of that is possible.
And I’ll see all y’all tomorrow! LOL!
Hope you have a good night! The girls have choir practice.
I don’t know about a good night. Nights have been hard to get through for the last 10 days, but I will try once again to make it work. :o[
It’s in the 80s here right now, but supposed to be 50s overnight.
Glad your friend in Houston is ok. Those floods looked biblical I was waiting to see Noah go by.
"Ri-i-ight."
Listen, do this and you’ll save water. Let it rain for 40 days and 40 nights and wait for the sewers to back up.
Yeah, yeah. Been there, done that.
Got tired of eating fish.
I was just reading Kathleen a story about an old lady and her dog visiting the Louvre. Kathleen informed me that she actually visited that museum herself in the 1800s and saw the Winged Victory of Samothrace.
She should have a considerable affinity for speaking French.
See if you can extract a more accurate date. This could be interesting.
Anything post 1863 ish.
Good morning Moose.. :-)
It was a sunshiny day. Warm too. WIth a slight occasional breeze to ruffle the leaves in the trees. But not all that energetically. Ideal conditions to utilize the Little Red Riding Thing with the Advanced Grass Substitute Height Decreaser Attachment and decrease the height of the Advanced Grass Substitute that comprises what passes for ‘lawn’ here.
Advanced Grass Substitute, you may recall from assorted previous mentions, is this amazing quasi-vegetative substance that grows (for lack of a word that truly describes its propagation and size expansion techniques) in, or maybe on, my yard. While Advanced Grass Substitute is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike grass it is for the most part greenish in color and thus does not arouse the suspicions of the neighbors. Usually.
Other than its ability to exponentially increase in height seemingly overnight, and visually displaying many varied physical appearances, it is, if you discount its suspicioned alien origins, for the most part benign. It is this attribute of exponential height increase overnight that renders it necessary to apply the Advanced Grass Substitute Height Decreaser Attachment on the Little Red Riding Thing on a weekly basis beginning shortly after the weather stuff wanders into the warm zone.
Now you might wonder why it is of concern that the height of the the Advanced Grass Substitute be decreased so frequently since it is for all intents not ‘real’ grass but an advanced, you know, substitute. And the answer is that due to the rapid height increases exhibited by Advanced Grass Substitute, it makes an ideal hangout for certain hematophagic ectoparasites, who, much as their close human equivalent, are looking for free stuff. At your (or my) expense. Their ability to locate a suitable ‘donor’ is greatly increased by the ever increasing height of the Advanced Grass Substitute in which they secret themselves waiting for an unsuspecting patron to pass by. When this occurs, they use a technique gleaned from Mark Zuckerblurb, founder of Facepagething. They send a specially tailored ‘friend request’ which if received cannot be refused. And then busy themselves about procuring that free lunch..
Since I have no particular warm fuzzy spot in my heart for hematophagic ectoparasites, I do all I can to discourage their loitering on the premises and since they really love to loiter in tall grasses of real or advanced substitute nature, decreasing the height of any grasslike structure is paramount.
Oh. I’m sorry. My bad. I forgot to mention who these hematophagic ectoparasites are. They are known as garapatas in Espanol.
Translated into English that would be “Democrats”.
Inspector Corgi is the Chief of the Royal DogHold.
They are the inner circle at Court.
[Had an awful punch line ,but alas it has evaporated]
Good Morning NoC.
Have to going in a few minutes.
Yet another busy day ahead. Hurumpf
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