ISIS Surrenders in face of Climate Change Conference

Vanity | 12/10/2015 | ArGee

[ArGee]

Raqqa, Syria

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, also known as ISIS, announced today that he would be disbanding all forces and returning all land to Syria and Iraq. The move was prompted by the ongoing Climate Conference in Paris.

"This is one thing we could not have anticipated," Mr. al-Baghdadi said in prepared remarks. "When we see the world coming together like this on such a dangerous subject as Global Climate Change, we realize that our Caliphate will never survive. It's only a matter of time before Climate Change is no more and the world's attention turns to us. At that point, we will have no chance. For the sake of the men, women, and children who have supported us, I can not continue a doomed campaign."

An emotional al-Baghdadi did not take any questions.

Sources close to al-Baghdadi who spoke on the condition of anonymity told us that it was becoming more and more difficult to recruit new fighters. "Even our existing people are extremely demoralized," one said. "The words of Donald Trump himself can not overcome our dispair."

According to their press release, surrender is total and immediate. Fighters are being paid and sent home by division. Any remaining money will be put into a fund to resettle Christians and Yazidis who have been displaced by the war.

"We thought the world was fragmented," one strategist was overheard saying to himself. "Who knew it could come together like this? This is a stinging rebuke."

So far there has been no comment from Damascus, Baghdad, Moscow, or Washington. One source inside the Kremlin said, "We are waiting to see if there will be any follow-up action. We want to make sure this is real before we decide on our next steps."

[Monkey Face]

Oops. Sorry.

[moose07]

Congealed fog....

Having no real evidence to the contrary, I’ll believe you.
It was lightly foggy before the temperature dropped. :)

[moose07]

:D
Make sure you use a clear bag with a ziplock top. Oh, and carry a clipboard.
No one ever disturbs someone with a clipboard. :)

[moose07]

Um, Who had the diagnostic error? Jamie or the Hospital?
Talk about a Huge relief for Her.!

[moose07]

More expert marksmanship from Face. :)
Whoohoo!

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

That is true.

People with clipboards are obviously on official business. And they might ask you to take a survey. :)

(Run! Hide!)

[Tax-chick]

We left. The sweater came from The Salvation Army and cost about $3. Since it’s not washable, she can’t take it to camp, but she can have it for local use.

[Tax-chick]

It was a Hematology practice that misdiagnosed Jamie with lupus. She’s diabetic and has other medical issues, but NOT that.

[NicknamedBob]

"It was a Hematology practice that misdiagnosed Jamie with lupus. She’s diabetic and has other medical issues, but NOT that."

Well, I suppose we could just consider that an unnecessarily close shave.

Still, it occurs to me that the mysterious ways in which some things often come about may seem to be only ordinary confusion. That's quite subtle, actually.

[Tax-chick]

This tiny kitten was rescued in Seal Beach, CA.

[Covenantor]

[Tax-chick]

Ah.

[Covenantor]

How many kitties?

[Tax-chick]

Two?

[Covenantor]

It's tough...one confirmed and a possible at top center.

Bullet car... free ride!

[Tax-chick]

I imagine I see a paw in the center block, toward the lower left reaching out between the sheets.

[Covenantor]

zooming into shadows I see murky things but on considering scale of known kitty, not likely more than one cat...

[Tax-chick]

Zooming into shadows, I see murky things.

Vivid verbiage!

[Monkey Face]

Good morning. I had a cat that used to flop like that and have the same pensive look on his face. He had the loudest purr! We named him Evinrude.

He was a rescue from Oregon Dunes National Recreation Area. Someone brought him to our RV full of fleas and ear mites. We cleaned him up and he was the best little guy. He would ride on the top of the truck seat back.

He was such a funny cat. He would even play catch with a small ball that he could carry in his mouth.

[Monkey Face]

Such tiny floofy squee! Me. Want.